Mine Before Hers

not much to say :)

He Was mine

Then she came along

Not his girl friend but my firend

she took him from me

I tryed to get him back

he got closer to her

he pulled away from 

me

geting closer to her 

leving me out

picking her pretty flowers

protecting her

oh i hope he will be mine once agin

Reviews

[17thWhitePrince]

WoW ... sa sad yet you remain ...
So optimistic ...
So hopeful ...
What a beautiful piece !!!
How aweful and yet you remain ...
so Strong !!!
Wonderfully written and expressed !!!

[Bethany Woody]

Loss, betrayal, quilt, innocence, bitterness, saddness, shame, hope. It's all here in just a few short lines. Some of it is subtle, but some of it is not. We've all been there and it sucks. It's not an original theme, but I think he piece is good. Most people use too may words to say exactly what you have with ony a handful of words, thats what makes this piece stand out from all of the others like it. Keep up the good work. I look forward to reading more from you>

[Last Lying Look]

This is really sad.
Heart break is a b***h.
"leaving me out
picking her pretty flowers
protecting her
oh i hope he will be mine once again"
That part spoke very loud and was an excellent way to end the poem.
The colours also added to it.
Great write!
-Elissa :)

[Atarun]

The title introduces the poem very well, but it somehow annoys me... Do you really think someone can own someone else? :-?

[Starting Over]

That was cool! It was a like a tell of a girl stilling a guy! It was great!

[~Mariposa Una Lila~]

honey you do not want someone who plays games, find someone with a true heart...i love you, and i love your poems..x0x0x0x

[♡Moon Child♡..]

*sighs* How true this is to many of us here. Love hurts...Great write!

[LostinKristina]

I understand this so well.
It really does suck when a friend gets the one you like.
It's happened to me more than once.
Great write.
The colors brought a lot more to it.
Thanks for sharing.
Can't wait to read some more.

[Kelley]

I can relate. Its sucks when a friend gets the one you love.
I loved all the colors you painted in this poem


Thanks for sharing.

Kelley

[CLUTZ]

simple. colorful.....O_O very pretty.