The Sea of Words That, "Must- Not- Be- Named"

4- letter- word, with the 3- letter- phrase

When I use that word

Silently in the confinments of my room

It feels right

 

When I mouth it into the mirror

Putting your name at the end of those 3 words...

It feels right

 

Waves of relief come crashing over me

In the sea

Of words that I won't let myself say

 

About two plus years ago

I drowned in that sea

With the waves of my own 6th grade foolishness

Toppling over me

Repeatedly

Without end

 

And now that same wave

Is the wave I face when I look at you

It stands a menacing 10 feet

Daring me

To repeat

Those words again

 

Two years ago

I promised never to say those 3 words

Unless I was absolutely sure

And now I think about it, and I'm not sure if I am

How would you know what that "4- letter- word" is if you've never felt it?

Would I be sure if I was?

Am I destined to drift?

Grabbing onto every flotation device

But letting them all go because for some reason

I'm afraid to take the chance of reaching the sandy seashore

Scared that the green envy sharks will pop all my floaties

And take the chance to eat me

"Hi Mr. Life Jacket #2"

I hope I can count on you....

Will you save me?