Stuffed Bear

Gifts

My Stuffed Bear

Named Oreo

He has a black little bowtie

And a priceless smile

This bear means a lot more than anyone will ever know

 

The thought of him makes me smile

His priceless smile

Makes me smile

When he talks

I just want to listen

Stop whatever I'm doing

To pay attention

To the wonderful voice speaking to me

On the other side of my phone

I never fall asleep alone

I have a beautiful bear all my own

 

I don't know where we will go

But I know that from now on I won't

Doubt my feelings

Something's coursing through my veins

Some feeling that rejuvenates me when I'm completely drained.

And when you're gone

That something remains.

 

All I want to do is make you happy

I don't want to do things to make you angry

Nothing that would cause you to hate me

Yet I test you

To see if you could love the real me

The one that not everybody

Can see

 

I can't think of anything to say

When we're together

My mind just goes blank

So I stare at my bear

And wonder if these feelings are fakes

And if I'm just some girl who thinks

She's feeling something real

Then if it's not real

And it's not fake

What in the name of love did I create?

 

I think that I'd be happy

If we never said a word to each other

I'd be happy just sitting there

Just being near

And being clear about our feelings

 

It's crazy but I miss you if you're not near

And every word I say over the phone actually means

"I wish you were here.."

So everything is not what it seems

You don't want something that sparkles

You want something that gleams

I want something real

That tears at the seams

Like my bear

Which keeps me company

Which keeps me dreaming

Which keeps me thinking

About you

 

Late into the night

I'm holding that bear tight

But sometimes in the morning

I awake to the bear resting on the floor

It's like We had a fight

In my dreams

And I chose to ignore

The fact that it hurts

And by holding that bear

I'm making it worse

The longing

The wanting

The things that can't be done

I try to toss them away

Until the morning sun

And for a swift moment

I've won

 

Until darkness falls

Until you call

Until we talk

Until you fall asleep on me

Until I stay on the other end

Silently lingering

Knowing you're asleep,

Cause I can hear you breathing

Quietly asking you to wake up

Smiling

Because you probably

Look cute when you're dreaming....

Until I finally decide to hang up

Knowing that I have no other reason to stay up

 

I turn to this website

And I type

My heart out

Hoping you never read this

Hoping your eyes never see this

Scared to death of what I might do

If I'm falling to fast for you

Irritation

Leads to Separation

There's no safe haven

When friends start dating

 

But then

I hope you read this

I hope your eyes see this

Because I want to know that we're feeling

The same feelings

Completely

So I can stop fighting this

Like a virus

Even after all that I've seen

Fear of Rejection

Keeps my heart from being clean...