Can't Say What I Want

There's no privacy anymore

I can't say what I want anymore

This website is the only refuge

The only closed door.

 

I can't cuss

I can't tell you how I feel

Even though sometimes I think it's a must

I can't be sure that it's real

 

Here's the deal...

I want you

But I'm fighting myself

So I can't have you

 

There's a war raging in my brain

Something I don't understand

But it all revolves around

Not wanting to be hurt again..

I don't want to feel that feeling of

there being a knife right in the middle of love

 

When you think you're in love,

You do just about anything

Even though the towers of doom are looming above

standing tall, seeming meanacing

You're so far up

That you don't care if you fall

You really just don't care at all

 

Until the day it just crashes on you

The roof,

The walls,

The stairwell too.

Your whole world is spinning

And there's nothing you can do

 

It's a horrible feeling

The worst kind of killing

Because it happens inside.

It carries on with you

Until you're able to prove

That it doesn't always end this way

And that at the end of the day

There's someone that can understand

The words you don't say

 

When it comes to you

I can't say anything

There's only so much I can do

 

When I want to touch you,

 I can't

When I want to see you without suspicion,

I can't

When I want voice my opinion,

I can't

If I were to do any of these things

I'd undoubtedly feel like the evil villain

 

I just can't deal with it

It's not good to start a relationship

In the bottom of a deep dark pit

There are snakes

And sooner or later

I'll get bit

In my mothers eyes

What I could do

Would be a crime

And I just can't commit

 

So I'm waiting

Although I know I'm skating

On very thin ice

You might find this creepy

But I'm sleepy

And I'm not really in the mood to play nice

 

It doesn't make me happy to say this

But these days I can't see through the mist

There's a veil between what is right and wrong

I can't tell what's too much and what's not enough

I can't seem to get in tune and sing the same song

It's been pretty rough

And sadly

I'm not that tough