Insecurities...In Times of Sadness....Pushing Your BFF's Away...

....Sometimes you just feel that your Best Friends don't know you anymore....

There are times...

When my friends don't understand me

They've known me since forever...

But sometimes I wonder...

If they really know the real me..

 

The me who laughs when she's sad

and doesn't want anyone to know...

The me who's quiet when her feelings are hurt

and sinks to the floor...

The me who dreams of becoming someone important..

Someone who is remembered and reconized...

The me who abhors being belittled...

People who talk down to her and

Call her stupid without ever saying the word...

Make her feel less than what she's worth...

The me who doesn't like to be made to talk when she's sad...

I just know I'll get angry and say something bad...

I'd rather be left alone

But it looks like nobody knows about that...

 

The me who doesn't like being pitted..

I don't want your comforts...they don't help at all...

Even when you make me laugh...

If you couldn't tell by now...

I'm always faking it when I'm sad...

 

When my worries are high and happiness is low...

My feelings are fragile things...

Playfully joking around about how I look or act...

It makes me want to burst into tears...

I'm afraid of the upcoming years...

I fear I won't have friends...

That understand...

Me as I am...

They see only what I choose to show them..

I'm longing for one of the chosen

Someone's I can tell all my secrets too....

 

Who will listen?

And not judge?

Who won't budge?

When push comes to shove?

Am i alone here

will i always be crying at the keyboard while I type

Poetry?

Sometimes I think

A split personallity

Would be a better thing to handle me

When I'm like this...

 

Why is it always

During depressing times like this,

When my friends choose to point out my insecurities....