It all began...

A Chapter by Tyrae'

This is the introduction of the book.

I’m torn between two boys. One liked me last year and the other probably just likes me as a friend this year. Here is my pitiful story of woe.

Marcello - He liked me last year. I thought of him as my very best guy friend and nothing more. I had never considered what it would be like if he and I started dating. When my other friend Devonte’ told me that Marcello had a crush on me and was going to ask me out, I freaked and avoided him unconsciously for two days.

He didn’t ask me anything by the time the end of the year came. We both ended up going to different middle schools for our eighth grade year. We’ll see each other next year in high school.

Now, I still suspect that he likes me. He called me the other day, but I wasn’t there to pick up. I called him back. Here’s how the conversation went.

(ring, ring, ring)

Marcello: (in a deep voice) “Hello?”

Me: “Hey, you called?”

Marcello: “Yeah.”

(I wait patiently on the other end of the phone, waiting for him to explain why he called.

He doesn’t….)

Marcello: “Soooo, how was that party?”

(The party he is talking about was 3 weeks ago..)

Me: “I’m sooo sorry about that! I wanted you to come, but I didn’t want you to get into trouble because of me. Some of my friends had this crazy idea to walk across the highway to go buy silly string. Me and Paige didn‘t go though, we went to go and see another movie.”

Marcello: “Walking across the highway sounds like fun.”

Me: “Yeah, but they got stopped by the police.”

Marcello: “Again, it sounds like fun.”

(I laugh at this, because I wasn’t expecting him to answer like that)

Marcello: Your laugh is weird.”

Me: (I’m still laughing, but secretly a little hurt by this comment, even though I’m sure he means it in a joking way.) “Well, it’s too late to change it now.”

(Awkward silence. I’m still mulling over the fact that he thinks my laugh is weird.)

Marcello: “Well, I’ve gotta go and take a shower. So, I’ll call you later.”

Me: “Kay, bye.”

Marcello: “Bye”

This is how it went. Now, I’m sure to you, it might sound like we don’t communicate enough, but we do. This little part was only from the very end of the conversation.

Besides the fact that he called me for no other reason than to talk, he also has nicknames for me. (tar, tee, things like that.) I don’t mind the nicknames so much, only because they’re actually from my name and not something crazy. (Like Caramel, I’ll get into that another time…)

He likes to sing, (he has a tenor voice), he likes to act, (like me) (also like me, he thinks musicals are the best!), he’s writing a book like me, (last year, we would read over each others written work), His birthday is August 22, (A mixture of Paige’s birthday date and my little sister, Damiana’s birthday month.) His voice has gotten much deeper than last year, and he has gotten taller… he’s my height.

I found out the voice and the height thing at the skating rink. I can’t roller skate worth a crap and it was super embarrassing to be falling on my butt all the time. My friends, Hadriane, Jerell, and Kalina (I just met her there) were trying to teach me. Marcello would hold my hand sometimes on the floor. It felt so weird and strange. I hadn’t held anyone’s hand since 2^nd grade. You could tell, he was a bit embarrassed to be holding my hand. He wouldn’t look at me.

In the middle of the outing, I felt like I was imposing on my friends, because they couldn’t have fun if they were trying to teach me the entire time. So I left the rink and sat down on a bench by the snack booth. No one came looking for me, except Marcello. He told me that I wasn’t taking away everyone’s fun, and that the only way I’d learn was to get back up there and skate some more.

I think that this is when I noticed I was feeling something for him. Whether it was friendship love, or me starting to like him I still have no clue.

That was sometime this year, like I said before, we go to different schools until next year. So I only see him when I’m out with friends. I’m not sure I like him though. There’s another someone in the way…

(scene: Morning, Math class)

Brina (a friend at my current school): “Hey, do you want to come with me, Jerell, and Marcello to the movies tonight?”

(I think about it for a moment)

Me: “Like a double date?”

(She looks at me then looks away. I know very well that she has a crush on Jerell)

Brina: “Yeah.”

(I think for a moment before looking over at the other side of the room. A boy named Zevi is laughing and talking with his friends. I smile then grimace. I turn back to her.)

Me: I’m sorry, I don’t do double dates. I can’t, not with Marcello, I’m not sure that I like him like that…Sorry.”

Zevi: He’s the current person that I’m sure I like. He’s so very friendly and bright. He’s always smiling and making people happy. He’s anything but stupid, you could call him somewhat of a philosopher. Zevi is the kind of person who always has imaginative ideas.

What’s the downside to a guy like that? Easy,… an Ex girlfriend that he’s possibly still in love with. Brooke Bayente. In the beginning of this year, him and her went out. She dumped him. Why would she dump him you ask? Well according to her, he was “too clingy” Now me, on the other hand, I would love for him to be “Too clingy” with me. I couldn’t ask for anything better.

Anyway, according to Devonte’, Zevi was pretty hung up about getting dumped. He and Brooke had also gone out in 6^th grade too. So when he moved away then came back, they decided to hook up again.

I believe that the sad thing about this is that in the beginning of the year, I didn’t notice Zevi at all. To me he was just some strange Caucasian male with long hair that covered his face and had his head down a lot. I think the first time I ever talked to him was when he said he was an anime lover. That’s when my interest in him sparked. From that point on, I started to think that there was more to him than meets the eye.

I watched him, because he was interesting and new to me. The more I talked to him and looked at him the more I admired him and his attitude. I loved how he could seem so happy all the time. The more he made me smile the more I began to realize that I had a sort of a crush on him.

His most beautiful physical feature is undoubtedly his eyes. They’re a mixture of brown and light green. You can’t help but notice them, when he talks to you he looks right into yours. There’s a special kind of light in them. The promise of a bright future I believe. He’s taller than me and has long dark brown hair that gets in his eyes all the time.

I don’t think he likes me back. I think he barely notices me. There are times when he does things and I get that feeling of hope, but then it quickly vanishes as I dismiss his gestures as being friendly or normal. Maybe I’m short changing myself.

Like this time for instance.

(scene: Lunchroom, bathroom time.)

Me: “Hey Theo (one of my weird guy friends.)!” ( I take the book that he’s holding out of his hands) “What’s this?” ( turn the book over and begin to read the summary)

(I glance up, notice that Zevi is coming my way, and quickly put my head back down to read the summary. Zevi comes over, stands right behind me, and starts to read the book summary too. He’s so close that there’s barely any room between us. I could lean back half an inch and bump into him.)

(I’m so busy thinking about how close he is that it’s getting hard for me to read the book summary. It’s about two short paragraphs long, but I have to reread it 5 times, my brain refuses to process the words. Finally, I give up and hold the book out for him to finish reading. I’m pacing my breathing because I realize that I’m holding my breath.)

Zevi: “What’s the prophecy about?”

(I release my air. He just asked a question about the book, clearly he’s not thinking of me. He probably hasn’t noticed how close we were standing at all. I need to answer with something too, to prove that I was reading and not just standing there.)

Me: “A giant rat?”

(Theo goes on to explain, I’m only half listening. Zevi seems to be listening intently, focusing on the conversation. After Theo finishes, he just walks away. I immediately feel stupid because apparently he wasn’t feeling anything I was feeling.)

There are times when I catch his eyes, but I’m always the first one to look away. I don’t want to start some unwanted challenge. Also as of last month he knows I like him, or at least he should know. I asked Devonte’ to ask Brooke why she dumped him so I could get the straight story. Now, my friend Devonte’ is very strong willed and he rarely does what you ask him to but he gets the job done.

This is how it went when he told me what she said.

(scene: end of the day, locker time, day of LGPE) Large Group Performance Evaluation

(I come out of my classroom to see Devonte’ coming towards me.)

Me: “Soooo, did you ask her?”

Devonte’: “Yeah. I asked both of them.”

Me: “Both of them?” (My voice comes out a bit squeaky because I’m sure I misheard him.)

Devonte’: “Yeah.”

Me: “Wait, who’s “both of them”?”

Devonte’: Brooke and Zevi.”

Me: “What?” (I almost scream this at him in a kind of whisper.)

Devonte’: “I’ll tell you at LGPE practice.”

(about 10 mins later, lunchroom, after school)

(I run straight over to Devonte’)

Me: “Now what did you say?”

Devonte’: “Okay, this his how it went when I asked Brooke.”

(Devonte’s mini conversation with Brooke)

Devonte’: “Why did you dump Zevi?”

Brooke: “Why?”

Devonte’: “A friend of mine wants to know.”

Brooke: “Who’s the friend?”

Devonte’ “Uhhm…Taree”

Brooke: “Oh.”

Devonte’: “You don’t mind, do you?”

Brooke: “ He was too clingy. She can go for him.”

(Back in the lunchroom)

(my eyes are wide with shock and disbelief.)

Me: “You told her my name!!!”

Devonte’: “I thought you’d be okay with it, and she doesn’t care, she said go for it.”

(I let out an agitated growl.)

Me: “I specifically told you not to say my name!”

Devonte’: “Well,…”

(I suck in a deep breath and wipe my hands over my face.)

Me: “So, you said you talked to Zevi. What did he say?”

Devonte’: “This is how it went.”

(Devonte’s mini conversation with Zevi.)

Devonte’: “Hey Zevi.”

Zevi: “Hey.”

Devonte’: (Devonte’ waits a minute before saying this) “One of our friends likes you. She doesn’t want a relationship like right now, but do you think you could do something small like, I don’t know, take her to the formal?”

Zevi: “Who is it?”

Devonte’: “Uhmm…Taree.”

Zevi: “Yeah, sure.”

(back in the lunchroom)

Me: “YAAAAY!!!”(my heart feels so happy, that I forget to be angry. For a minute. I turn to Devonte‘) “Why did you tell him who I was?”

Devonte’: “Well, look at it this way, you have a date to the formal.”

(I smile, and I feel like I’m glowing from the inside out.)

Me: “Yayayayayayay!!!” (My anger at him is gone momentarily.)

“So he actually said he would want to go with me?”

Devonte’: “Basically, but you know you still have to ask right?”

Me: “I know that. But when?”

Devonte’: “I don’t know. I guess whenever it feels right.”