Intro for a story

It's just an introduction, but I'm thinking of editing. I need help, though. I could use some constructive criticism!! :) Thanks

"I couldn’t breathe. Mom was tightening the metal cord around my neck. Tighter…harder…I felt a little dizzy.
    'Mom.' I choked the word out with my final breaths. She chuckled and tied the ends of the string together. Then she pushed me into my dark, unwelcoming room.
    Mom laughed at my horror-struck expression. 'No need to fear, honey. The pain will all be over soon…' she whispered into my ear.
    And then she disappeared. My vision faded, and everything was black."

I looked at the psychiatrist and bit my lip. "That's how the dream ends. Just like that. Suddenly."

He nods. "So. You were about to be killed, just like 8 months ago, but this time you did die? Or what?"

I go deep into thought. "Well, the dream." I sigh. "The dream didn't ever finish. It just kept stopping around there."

Mr. Wyler jots down a few nots on his notebook. "Yes. Kelly, did you notice that there was another detail in this dream?"

I pry my eyes away from the sunlight that filtered through the dirty window and stared innocently at the man before me. "Huh?"

Author's Note

What can I improve on? I'm only 12, so...:)
Thanks

Reviews

[Rosalie Barrows]

This is really good. I'm on the edge of my seat wanting more. I say just keep going with this and see where it takes you.

[Rachel(:]

this is so much better than what i can do in my point of view. but we're close in age. i'm 13. :D