Vanity

A tale about seeking the Fountain of Youth. Or a metaphor for life. Whichever.

The desert dry is chaffing

Air rattling in my lungs

Ev’ry breath an ill whisper

Palms groping for the sun

 

Legends swept across the land

Seeking one to listen

Snaking up my leathered neck

Upon my ears they christened

 

Sirens gentle sobbed their tales

Moaning through the water

Chills of immortality

And the children fathered

 

Pressing through the blist’ring wind

Crying out for favor

My flesh flayed to nearly bone;

Ahead I glimpse savior

 

Promises of youth ripple

And my dead crawl hastens

Greed wraps claws around my neck

To plunge my head within

 

I suck the water eager

Destroying dreams and plans

The fountain I have died for

Is nothing but the sand

Author's Note

Don't hold back, tell me what you really think.

Reviews

[Tony]

Wow, I got to get me a glass of water. Really I feel thirsty.
Love the final stanza and it's allusion towards an oasis--
that makes the poem all the more lifelike
And goes well with the fountain of youth concept as well.
Thought provoking work. Dying for that fountain--
drinking our hallucinations or illusion of death.
Powerful metaphors here. Outstanding work!

[Shalini Dinesh]

the words chosen are really good and over all i liked the poem ..

[Antonio Valentino]

Good grief, this is some good writing Diedre. It's nice to know that poetry is far from dead. From what I've read just on this site alone, from the younger (then me anyway) talent is very promising.

Keep it up poetess, writing is in your blood. I'll keep you in mind if I ever need a blood transfusion :)

Antonio

[kruser23]

Nice. I liked this.

[Henry B]

Well done. I would make a couple of tweaks, but that could just be my taste/style trying to force itself on your work.