Heaven

Words from the soul the gods have spurned.

The filthy taste of my existence
Lingers on the tip of my tongue
Angels watch me but their eyes are dead
The gods condemn me; their sockets are empty
And beneath the floor of an eternal paradise
Resides an evil which taints the land
And I alone can see it

Reviews

[Re-Pete]

This is excellent. Enjoyed it very much. You are able to convey so much with few words.

[Crusaderscross]

This is really good. Your imagery is well crafted. It brings us in for the ride. Love the line "filthy taste of my existence". I will continue to read your stuff.

[Arthur Crow]

This is very potent.. the imagery and gripping emotion kept me fixated all the way.
Really enjoyed the word play and mood here, well scribed!

[Orlando Murcia]

Very nice write of feeling
rejected by the god's

Awful feeling to feel that
when you feel like there is no
salvation

Great write!

Orlando M

[shandi]

This reminds me of waking up in the morning and dwelling all day on something completely stupid or sinful i had done the night before, thinking i am no longer anygood, how could anyone ever see that, and i am destined for the return of my faults in a similar hell.... good write to relate to!

[Jessica]

short and sweet! lots of great imagery and it flows very well! very thought-provoking! nicely done!

[Aimee Mahathy]

Short, but very vivid!
I like this. I wonder, what kind of monster would the gods condemn? What kind of person would the angels turn a deaf ear to? Makes me think...
I enjoyed your imagery, and your creative use of words.
Great job!