I will never be a wife.

There's nothing more exhausting, my mother used to cry,

Than a girl who can't love or a girl who can't lie

There's nothing more frustrating, my mother used to moan,

Than a woman in her 40s living all on her own 

Very few things, my mother used to say, made me want to be like her someday

My mother wasn't big, nor brash, nor bold 

'You silly b***h, do what you're told!' 

My father would scream, she was under his thumb

'Don't come out that kitchen till the dinner is done!'

My sister was afraid he'd go crazy someday, wrap his hands round her throat

and kill her that way 

She was scared he would lose it on a quiet Friday night,

When the vegetables were raw, 

Or the steak wasn't right,

My mother would wash, iron and clean

She'd cry in her room when our father was mean

This is nothing my darlings, run along like you should 

Your father is stressed but your father is good

Go and play in the garden,tidy up all your things,

Do not mourn the future and the lessons it brings 

We listened to mother and ignored all her pain, 

We shut out the beatings again and again

My sister married off seven years after that 

To a wealthy Scottish aristocrat,

She comes home every few weeks, 

Her belly is growing,

She hides all her bruises but she cant help them showing 

I can't forgive my mother for the lessons she taught,

the normality of ignoring the anguish he brought

I feel pain for my sister, I can foresee her life

I will be alone at 40,

I will never be a wife. 

Reviews

[Everett DeValle]

Such a deep, Deep, poem...heart felt and heart wrenching...it's just a relatable write, to me...my fear of commitment due to an overbearing mom that I don't like talking about...but what she put my Dad through wasn't what I envisioned, as well, in a marriage. I believe variety is the spice of life, even when Cupid may have a pistol to my head. :)

Lovely and emotive write. Kudos.

[Iliana Peters]

ah thankyou! Glad you can relate and enjoyed it. :)

[Everett DeValle]

You are quite welcome, Iliana. Pretty name btw. Take care. ~Ev

[Onlyme]

Deeply moving, a raw poem about domestic abuse in the house, and the children seeing all that happens. Sad, dramatic, very relatable read. That so many can understand and feel for you. I can understand you never want to marry. Due to that type of upbringing.

[Nolo Segundo]

Sometimes, depending on the subject, for a poem to be good, to be true, it must be brutal-- and this is. And often children will repeat the patterns--be they good or bad- of their parents (my interpretation of the Biblical saying, the sins of the father are passed on to the children). I can only say that the one, the only thing that can hold a relationship together for 20, 40, 60 years is a deep friendship. [I learned myself that over 40 years ago, after a series of failed affairs, and my wife is still my best friend-- and we became friends long before we had sex.]
You write well-- and that means you can 'see' with your soul (doesn't matter if you believe you have one or not), so the trick is to see the soul in another, and whether his soul is seeking light or darkness--it is always one or the other. And if you have trouble doing so, then call on God for help (again, doesn't matter whether you believe or not, just make the call...)

[John the Baptist]

I really liked the unique rhyming of this offering. Telling a story as it does, the poem, if set to music, would make a great ballad. It would be a sad one, though. Domestic abuse is never a pleasant topic. Very well done.

[barleygirl]

At age 61, I have never married. Never even close. As the youngest of 9 kids, I saw not only my parents' misery, but a pile of divorces between my older siblings before I got my period. Your poem is extremely brilliant becuz of the way you pick & express your abundant details. This literally sings off the page with authenticity. I almost had an orgasm, the realness was so sublime. You really have something to say & you know how to say it (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Donyay Thomas]

this is deep and this is how i'm forever single. nice work

[NotaBene]

Excuse me while I write a beautiful sonnet all over this poem! This is amazing. Yes it's sad, and yes its heart breaking but the way you presented it was absolute perfection. Being someone who advocates for gender roles, I think it is important that we also show our daughters the dark side of relationships as well so they know what NOT to get themselves into. There are many people in the world who believe that a woman can be nothing if she doesn't have a man, that a woman's lot in life is to sacrifice, and with those poems you ripped those stereotypes apart. You really express how we need to be more conscious of the way we raise our daughters and lead by example instead of "do as I say, not as I do." Awesome write!

[John A. Ayala]

Great rhyme scheme and cadence. This poem reverberates with raw emotion. The poetic voice issues forth and tugs at my heart. Excellent poem.

- John

[Emily]

Wow, such a deep poem, But I love it!

[A. Amos]

Poignant subject you picked and you wrote elegantly every single verse is true, the world need more writers like you and same time the whole world should read your work...keep up the good work. Respect!

[Frieda P]

So often we take those lessons learned in childhood into our adult lives, it has its effect on us all, good, bad or indifferent. This kind of behavior unfortunately will haunt and shape our
expectations, tragic, it happens all too often. Powerful and gutsy...an affecting read.