A/Muse Me/You

could be broken into shorter lines, but I am not doing it

sharp metaphors shower down silver bullet stilettos
click click clicking on polished concrete tablets, wet
alive revived new ways of blood-letting it all go, baby can you hear it?
I can hear rats tat tat on window pains cold forged barbs aimed
at steely-hearted souls and hard-hearted heels who are our muses
courted, vied for like '(my) first draft (is finished, baby) players'
well known for skills honed in fields strewn with fine minds
that just need a poke to explode heart for art's sake

tough oft rough traded woo pitching muses wanted to keep full
acid-tongue tipped styluses, etching more muse infused, scripted venom

we demand all their waking / sleeping sensations to be directed at us
for the hours we need to begin breathing on our own again.
they are a fix, a tool, night school refresher course- not obsessions
we know where they begin and we control their ends- grains of sand
in our heads, sometimes beds hoping for cultured pearls not just stains
mental quickies desiring to inspire should read the caveat lector line before they sign
there are no guarantees of kindness of any kind just a merry go-go around
of peeling back facades, blaring reflections of each other, virtually
all over, the closer the better, pages soaked with money shots don't reveal the players
so they are reusable like stock images to which we all own the rights

muse, amused or abused with no promises of privacy just emotional piracy
high jacked for high times then be set free willingly with no regrets
just on to the next emotional wrecking party

your tableau is waiting

Reviews

[JR]

Ilene, there's a huge difference, I think, between the poem that is born on the page, then refined to be spoken, and the poem that is born on the lips, then written down. This is of the latter category, and is just amazing. Oh, the ANGER, the rage! You have such a great sense of sound, "click click clicking," "rats tat tat," these descriptions hum and pop, they draw the reader in and echo in their heads, working backwards to the ear. So nicely done, and such an art.

As far as the intro lines go, they are very effective, especially with images like, "silver bullet stilettos," and, "current new ways of blood-letting," this all comes through the screen so clearly... and your reader takes notice.

I have nothing to suggest to improve this, Ilene, it comes at the reader fast and hard, and you don't need to be speaking for your voice to translate. It reads well the first time, so much the rant, and gives off more and more depth with each subsequent reading (I read it four times before the review, and will read it, uh, probably forty more times before I'm done). That's the Gift right there, in a nutshell...

[Johnny]

isn't it wonderful, again?

i was on random searchings and came here agin to read the above...
[ i frucking love spell-check, by the way]

if it wasn't for the spell-checker.. i would have to be more into consciousness...which can be a a much better way to go and challenge at times,


take good care...have a nice Friday night.. it feels like Saturday night

that's me story and im shticking to itt

[Holly Lock]

muse, amused or abused with no promises of privacy just emotional piracy
high jacked for high times then be set free willingly with no regrets
just on to the next emotional wrecking party

Really amazing.

[Jon Cass]

ok,

so this is f*****g brilliant.

there's alot of power in this piece,
without being overtly melodramatic.

[Paul Anthony]

you write with grate strength and i feal it
you also make me wish to hear it.

[Zen]

i began this poem half noticing it's presence as life was bleeding in so loudly from all sides. despite the various distractions, coupling words began soaking in separate from the whole. they were screaming louder than anything else in the room. 'blood-letting it all go' 'hard hearted heels'. i shouted the room into silence and began again. i felt your passion and timing with the second read, your truth came out in the third. i find myself not only concerned, but ready to stand up in the name of integrity and a great poem.

[Casey C. Vaughan]

It reads beautifully, I would love to hear it from your lips.
Casey

[L. Hawley]

awesome.. I'd love to hear you read it.. I can almost.. I'm left with an imprint that echoes in my mind.. and with each course and vibration I grow more curious and am drawn deeper into the refined natural mechanics, into the essence of the rhythm... I bet when you wrote this it came like a soft lightning bolt.. that is how I feel anyways. : ) Love the flow.. love the vision.. love the inspiration, love the expression, ty for sharing!

[J.P. Bristow]

muse, amused or abused with no promises of privacy just emotional piracy
high jacked for high times then be set free willingly with no regrets
just on to the next emotional wrecking party

your tableau is waiting
................................................I drown in these murky depths-a great read!-thanks for sending it.........

[Mr. Deft Diction]

This just speaks so sexy! I absolutely love your flow and wordplay!!!
Bangin'!

[Victrola Belle]

i could have sworn ive reviewed this because i know ive read it...love it too...

well, i see i havent so...

ok this is fine work...and i agree....it SOUNDS so good...it must be on fire performed..

''tough oft rough traded woo pitching muses wanted to keep full
acid-tongue tipped styluses, etching more muse infused, scripted venom''

I love rough tradeded woo pitching and her stylus tattooing flow....

this is taking a look inside the brain sparking!

One of my fav lines...

"grains of sand
in our heads, sometimes beds hoping for cultured pearls not just stains
mental quickies desiring to inspire"

Well my grains rarely produce pearls let alone cultured ones...but you've got natural iridescent nacre here....

It's a street synapses hard candied into words :) thats how i want to see it ..

yep!