A/Muse Me/You

could be broken into shorter lines, but I am not doing it

sharp metaphors shower down silver bullet stilettos
click click clicking on polished concrete tablets, wet
alive revived new ways of blood-letting it all go, baby can you hear it?
I can hear rats tat tat on window pains cold forged barbs aimed
at steely-hearted souls and hard-hearted heels who are our muses
courted, vied for like '(my) first draft (is finished, baby) players'
well known for skills honed in fields strewn with fine minds
that just need a poke to explode heart for art's sake

tough oft rough traded woo pitching muses wanted to keep full
acid-tongue tipped styluses, etching more muse infused, scripted venom

we demand all their waking / sleeping sensations to be directed at us
for the hours we need to begin breathing on our own again.
they are a fix, a tool, night school refresher course- not obsessions
we know where they begin and we control their ends- grains of sand
in our heads, sometimes beds hoping for cultured pearls not just stains
mental quickies desiring to inspire should read the caveat lector line before they sign
there are no guarantees of kindness of any kind just a merry go-go around
of peeling back facades, blaring reflections of each other, virtually
all over, the closer the better, pages soaked with money shots don't reveal the players
so they are reusable like stock images to which we all own the rights

muse, amused or abused with no promises of privacy just emotional piracy
high jacked for high times then be set free willingly with no regrets
just on to the next emotional wrecking party

your tableau is waiting

Reviews

[JR]

Ilene, there's a huge difference, I think, between the poem that is born on the page, then refined to be spoken, and the poem that is born on the lips, then written down. This is of the latter category, and is just amazing. Oh, the ANGER, the rage! You have such a great sense of sound, "click click clicking," "rats tat tat," these descriptions hum and pop, they draw the reader in and echo in their heads, working backwards to the ear. So nicely done, and such an art.

As far as the intro lines go, they are very effective, especially with images like, "silver bullet stilettos," and, "current new ways of blood-letting," this all comes through the screen so clearly... and your reader takes notice.

I have nothing to suggest to improve this, Ilene, it comes at the reader fast and hard, and you don't need to be speaking for your voice to translate. It reads well the first time, so much the rant, and gives off more and more depth with each subsequent reading (I read it four times before the review, and will read it, uh, probably forty more times before I'm done). That's the Gift right there, in a nutshell...

[Maria]

at steely-hearted souls and hard-hearted heels who are our muses
Love it.
acid-tongue tipped styluses, etching more muse infused, scripted venom
YIPES and this is delicious
muse, amused or abused with no promises of privacy just emotional piracy
high jacked for high times then be set free willingly with no regrets
just on to the next emotional wrecking party
GREAT finis fully ripe

[Kristina Moulaison]

Love the theme here. Something I can canabalise. It sounds really good.

[Gandré]

I have read this second time. You are truly the queen of "spoken word genre".

[Blue Mudd]

"we demand all their waking / sleeping sensations to be directed at us
for the hours we need to begin breathing on our own again."

very nice way to say stop living through your lover.

[Unknown Poet (a.k.a. &q..]

"your tableau is waiting"...LOL, you kill me!

[Ralph S. DeMarco]

I like the poetry muse theme, and the scatter-shot metaphors. Sounds like it was written while other poems were being read. As this is a spoken word poem, perhaps the lines could be arranged better. Esp. like the last stanza.

[Kees Kapteyn]

I love your stuff too- I love the rapidfire voice of spoken word and how it sends its images to you with clarity when it's read (when I read it). Have you ever read Mark Anthony Jarman? All his stuff is great, but his novel Salvage King Ya! is like one huge spoken word poem- it's meant to be read aloud. I wholly recommend it to you and anyone who likes your stuff.

As for the poem- I read a kind of ninja-like appropriation of our muse's essences- how we stealthily steal from them for our own purposes, use them, abuse them for our own amusement. Indeed, we do court our muses in order to use them. Every love affair has each lover with its own personal agendas. And whoa that last line- like you're offering yourself up as a muse. You are the master of the last line zinger.

[The Lovely Sound Of Cra..]

Damn, you're good! This is my first time reading one of your pieces and I was just blown away. Very well written and puts an interesting picture in my head. I love how you wrote this. Great job. :)

[Memnoch]

I wish I had a muse like this. If I did I would be rich or I would be dead LOL. Thanks for sharring such a wonderful write.
Kelley Frost

[Stephen Schmidt]

It was a pleasure to read this diction was marvelous and the idea was even better. The grammer could have been better, but you could go on my page and say the same thing, so I shouldn't of even thought to say it lol....Very, very, wonderful...thanks for sharing...