A/Muse Me/You

could be broken into shorter lines, but I am not doing it

sharp metaphors shower down silver bullet stilettos
click click clicking on polished concrete tablets, wet
alive revived new ways of blood-letting it all go, baby can you hear it?
I can hear rats tat tat on window pains cold forged barbs aimed
at steely-hearted souls and hard-hearted heels who are our muses
courted, vied for like '(my) first draft (is finished, baby) players'
well known for skills honed in fields strewn with fine minds
that just need a poke to explode heart for art's sake

tough oft rough traded woo pitching muses wanted to keep full
acid-tongue tipped styluses, etching more muse infused, scripted venom

we demand all their waking / sleeping sensations to be directed at us
for the hours we need to begin breathing on our own again.
they are a fix, a tool, night school refresher course- not obsessions
we know where they begin and we control their ends- grains of sand
in our heads, sometimes beds hoping for cultured pearls not just stains
mental quickies desiring to inspire should read the caveat lector line before they sign
there are no guarantees of kindness of any kind just a merry go-go around
of peeling back facades, blaring reflections of each other, virtually
all over, the closer the better, pages soaked with money shots don't reveal the players
so they are reusable like stock images to which we all own the rights

muse, amused or abused with no promises of privacy just emotional piracy
high jacked for high times then be set free willingly with no regrets
just on to the next emotional wrecking party

your tableau is waiting

Reviews

[JR]

Ilene, there's a huge difference, I think, between the poem that is born on the page, then refined to be spoken, and the poem that is born on the lips, then written down. This is of the latter category, and is just amazing. Oh, the ANGER, the rage! You have such a great sense of sound, "click click clicking," "rats tat tat," these descriptions hum and pop, they draw the reader in and echo in their heads, working backwards to the ear. So nicely done, and such an art.

As far as the intro lines go, they are very effective, especially with images like, "silver bullet stilettos," and, "current new ways of blood-letting," this all comes through the screen so clearly... and your reader takes notice.

I have nothing to suggest to improve this, Ilene, it comes at the reader fast and hard, and you don't need to be speaking for your voice to translate. It reads well the first time, so much the rant, and gives off more and more depth with each subsequent reading (I read it four times before the review, and will read it, uh, probably forty more times before I'm done). That's the Gift right there, in a nutshell...

[James K. Blaylock]

This was truly a wicked good read! Thanks so very much for sharing it with me.

[Lionel Braud]

let me take a shot here, this piece I believe is incorporating all five senses, the first stanza being sound, the second a visual/mental escapade and refresher course on what was just heard outside

there are no guarantees of kindness of any kind just a merry go-go around
of peeling back facades, blaring reflections of each other, virtually
all over, the closer the better, pages soaked with money shots don�t reveal the players
so they are reusable like stock images to which we all own the rights

this is my favorite.

[Jenny Davis]

All your lines are deliberate and intelligent...but really more insightful than anything!
The illusion of the world and the people that reside are always tough to decipher. I enjoyed the song-like flow in this and the message of insanity we all share when trying to feed our muse with so much distraction and ugliness. (of course all my interpretation of this.) I enjoyed this thoroughly :)

[Nathan Strange]

I can see why this is poken word, it is a tricky one to read in itself. A very original use of language skills, not sure what else to say, I've never read anything like it.

[L. Hawley]

ditto.. I love you... something constructive? something to critisize.? lol I better stay at my desk for a little while. ; )

[Marty Loyd]

Thanks for your kind words.
I like the lines:
"there are no guarantees of kindness of any kind."
and
"Though oft rough traded..."

[Gaining Grounds]

Brilliance is impossible to critique embarrassing to compare but when read, astonishing all the more.

[Mike Firesmith]

explode heart for art�s sake

This so needs to be published.

[Dan Bullock]

Aah a rhythm! Hey there =)

[M. Andre Vancrown]

I would love to hear these two lines as spoken word:

tough oft rough traded woo pitching muses wanted to keep full
acid-tongue tipped styluses, etching more muse infused, scripted venom

haha, because I think I just sprained my tongue trying it and that sucker's an olympic sprinter that makes ALL the hurdles!

Jesus, I don't know what I can say that hasn't been covered in the odd some 130???? reviews!!! my goodness, girl, you do draw a crowd.

I think we all do our poems about poetry . . . probably the most common topic in the modern poet's arsenal, and I'm guilty of having written a few myself. This rises above the cliche' and trips its hammers with something said in your own special way.

It's prodigious!

Michael