A/Muse Me/You

could be broken into shorter lines, but I am not doing it

sharp metaphors shower down silver bullet stilettos
click click clicking on polished concrete tablets, wet
alive revived new ways of blood-letting it all go, baby can you hear it?
I can hear rats tat tat on window pains cold forged barbs aimed
at steely-hearted souls and hard-hearted heels who are our muses
courted, vied for like '(my) first draft (is finished, baby) players'
well known for skills honed in fields strewn with fine minds
that just need a poke to explode heart for art's sake

tough oft rough traded woo pitching muses wanted to keep full
acid-tongue tipped styluses, etching more muse infused, scripted venom

we demand all their waking / sleeping sensations to be directed at us
for the hours we need to begin breathing on our own again.
they are a fix, a tool, night school refresher course- not obsessions
we know where they begin and we control their ends- grains of sand
in our heads, sometimes beds hoping for cultured pearls not just stains
mental quickies desiring to inspire should read the caveat lector line before they sign
there are no guarantees of kindness of any kind just a merry go-go around
of peeling back facades, blaring reflections of each other, virtually
all over, the closer the better, pages soaked with money shots don't reveal the players
so they are reusable like stock images to which we all own the rights

muse, amused or abused with no promises of privacy just emotional piracy
high jacked for high times then be set free willingly with no regrets
just on to the next emotional wrecking party

your tableau is waiting

Reviews

[JR]

Ilene, there's a huge difference, I think, between the poem that is born on the page, then refined to be spoken, and the poem that is born on the lips, then written down. This is of the latter category, and is just amazing. Oh, the ANGER, the rage! You have such a great sense of sound, "click click clicking," "rats tat tat," these descriptions hum and pop, they draw the reader in and echo in their heads, working backwards to the ear. So nicely done, and such an art.

As far as the intro lines go, they are very effective, especially with images like, "silver bullet stilettos," and, "current new ways of blood-letting," this all comes through the screen so clearly... and your reader takes notice.

I have nothing to suggest to improve this, Ilene, it comes at the reader fast and hard, and you don't need to be speaking for your voice to translate. It reads well the first time, so much the rant, and gives off more and more depth with each subsequent reading (I read it four times before the review, and will read it, uh, probably forty more times before I'm done). That's the Gift right there, in a nutshell...

[Pat]

"mental quickies desiring to inspire" - ain't that the truth. Fleeting images and bits of poems and stories that might fit somewhere if we could only figure out the rest of it. Danged Muses, anyway. Ply 'em with liquor and chocolate and the fickle varmints still play tag with us.

Love it.

Pat

[Ciao.]

I'd say beotch...but that wouldn't quite do it justice. It's a tight write, and I can taste the inspiration...it's still dancin' on the tip of my tongue, and in her mind, acidic lcd (not acid / lsd...but it still blows the mind) caustic alliteration and rhyme. Needles aren't my stylus, but anger sure draws blood and bring out the groove.This subject is a one-size-fits-all condom with a hole in it...guaranteed to f**k up a good time.

[Li Li]

Ilene, this has to be such a fun piece to watch you say. I will want this one read aloud in person when we see each other in Kansas.

I liked the rhythm of it. I liked....muse, amuse, or abuse. Good line! I read through this more then once and had a smile on my face each time afterwards. You have a way of turning language into paint. Such an image comes from everything you display.

Of course I am left in amazement....you are an amazing person.

Love
Li

[Nat Z. Punx]

you have this week's maynard g krebbes award
go baby go!
then she left

[L. L. Jacobson]

p.s.
you're taking up all the room in my favorites library.
stay right where you are, every time.

[L. L. Jacobson]

Ilene-
This is the greatest piece of art I have ever read by you. You penned this from your soul, these words come from places you know so well, how to tell it? Amazingly.
Beautiful intrigue, grandiose in raw emotions, a token of your being who you are, and you are brilliant.
I can't say much more than that because I'm still reeling from the emotions you've provoked and evoked within me.
Phenomenal.

[Paul Grimsley]

wow, this is on fire. i was gonna say how this is like tattoo in both senses of the word -- the rhythm hammering home the message, scripting it on skin -- but this is like a chisel carving on stone tablets. what a fiery write. its one of those ones where it's like rolling a mixture of cut glass and marble aroud in your mouth -- smooth and sharp and full of taste. f*****g amazing.

[Mark]

Each line carries it's own weight, and you've woven them
into the tableau you've created. And in the end,
who is who?