A/Muse Me/You

could be broken into shorter lines, but I am not doing it

sharp metaphors shower down silver bullet stilettos
click click clicking on polished concrete tablets, wet
alive revived new ways of blood-letting it all go, baby can you hear it?
I can hear rats tat tat on window pains cold forged barbs aimed
at steely-hearted souls and hard-hearted heels who are our muses
courted, vied for like '(my) first draft (is finished, baby) players'
well known for skills honed in fields strewn with fine minds
that just need a poke to explode heart for art's sake

tough oft rough traded woo pitching muses wanted to keep full
acid-tongue tipped styluses, etching more muse infused, scripted venom

we demand all their waking / sleeping sensations to be directed at us
for the hours we need to begin breathing on our own again.
they are a fix, a tool, night school refresher course- not obsessions
we know where they begin and we control their ends- grains of sand
in our heads, sometimes beds hoping for cultured pearls not just stains
mental quickies desiring to inspire should read the caveat lector line before they sign
there are no guarantees of kindness of any kind just a merry go-go around
of peeling back facades, blaring reflections of each other, virtually
all over, the closer the better, pages soaked with money shots don't reveal the players
so they are reusable like stock images to which we all own the rights

muse, amused or abused with no promises of privacy just emotional piracy
high jacked for high times then be set free willingly with no regrets
just on to the next emotional wrecking party

your tableau is waiting

Reviews

[JR]

Ilene, there's a huge difference, I think, between the poem that is born on the page, then refined to be spoken, and the poem that is born on the lips, then written down. This is of the latter category, and is just amazing. Oh, the ANGER, the rage! You have such a great sense of sound, "click click clicking," "rats tat tat," these descriptions hum and pop, they draw the reader in and echo in their heads, working backwards to the ear. So nicely done, and such an art.

As far as the intro lines go, they are very effective, especially with images like, "silver bullet stilettos," and, "current new ways of blood-letting," this all comes through the screen so clearly... and your reader takes notice.

I have nothing to suggest to improve this, Ilene, it comes at the reader fast and hard, and you don't need to be speaking for your voice to translate. It reads well the first time, so much the rant, and gives off more and more depth with each subsequent reading (I read it four times before the review, and will read it, uh, probably forty more times before I'm done). That's the Gift right there, in a nutshell...

[Wendy G.]

this is a true heart bullet for anyone with eyes.

we demand all their waking / sleeping sensations to be directed at us
for the hours we need to begin breathing on our own again.
they are a fix, a tool, night school refresher course-

obsessions in poetic space, well everyone is a potential muse, and therefore a potential target/punching bag. careful when finding muses in crowded places, eh?

you have used many words familiar to my inner muse, and so they strike particularly hard, i'm sure others feel the same. i love it when words have teeth. it definately make one want to strike back in some poetic way, but gawd, i dunno who is qualified to battle with your muse, love.

it reminds me of collaborations or poems with poems as replies, a definite learning tool to say the least.

take it to ya'lls next convention, read it aloud- school 'em

this was really great, i am in awe and faving

[Richard B. Berry]

This is the definitive piece for what it is most of us do here. " pages soaked with money shots don't reveal the players" is an amazing and hilarious line. You kick this out in a frenzied pace...awesome. you are too cool for words.

[R. MonaLeza]

Damn, I don't even know what to say. I am speechless. You are AMAZING, woman. FAVES and that doesn't even remotely do it justice, but I'll be rereading this one many times.

[Debra Marlar]

holy s**t!! gritty, gripping, slamming pace and some fine, very fine lines throughout...i freaking liked too many to quote but just a few;

well known for skills honed in fields strewn with fine minds
that just need a poke to explode heart for art�s sake

we demand all their waking / sleeping sensations to be directed at us
for the hours we need to begin breathing on our own again.

pages soaked with money shots don�t reveal the players
so they are reusable like stock images to which we all own the rights

i could go on and on...this rocks bloody hell rocks!

[Jinx]

Brilliant.

The best I think I've read of you yet.

Absolutely brilliant.

[Kelly D.]

Yes, yes, Ilene. I want to hear you perform this piece. I love it. Every word falls into a perfectly scripted sound. If that makes sense. It has a rythm in between the lines.

"muse, amuse or abuse with no promise of privacy just emotional piracy
high jacked for high times then be set free willingly with no regrets
just on to the next emotional wrecking party"

My favorites. And how fitting from you. We're all an emotional wreck on the page bleeding for all to see.

"emotional piracy"

I just want to keep saying that over and over. It's magnificent.

[Michael Carr]

Very nice job. well written spacy piece of work, deep and filled with vibrant imagery. I think oft might be a misspell. maybe not. very good job.

[William Usry]

I absolutely adore it...love the way you keep using the word "muse" especially as a kind of play on words in the title...muse is one of my favorite words. I'd hate to be the person at whom this was directed.

[Randy Mckenica -writers..]

This is overwhelming... admittedly a piece that demands full attention, because it is rapid fire and insistant. The pace is a mite hectic for my own personal tastes, perhaps because it was adapted from stage, but there are countless gems in here. This just does the steam roller to my senses.... and demands countless re reads to suck in the full intent.

[Gandré]

Give it to us! Each scene-moment sparkles like a w***e's sequined dress, each line has the lower-depths authenticity of a subway grafiti or a brushed superficial dream of a city-kiddo and each their slippery turns of the plot; it is both as suprising and shocking.