Perfectly Lit

alone and in times that held nothing
I wrote of you before you
in manifesto style volumes
bound in cache at no loss for words

last night I dreamt of us in Frank Miller grays
color tinted with pheromones
and amber gold Glenfiddich
while under argento and platinum skies
we strolled decaying urban landscapes
with ramshackle shaped skylines
by a riverside on weathered docks
awash in surreal metallic tones
painting my visions ala Yves Tanguy
with grand hopeful delusions
made real by laying down
bemused perditions endlessly

Came today I had promise
as the sky perfectly lit
showed galaxies full of endless possiblities
yet here I sit
again alone in my perfect world
and all I want is to see is your breath
making castles in the air

Reviews

[Gandré]

Ilene, this is really inspirational! I had many many messages, still have and now came down to this. Never think, I ignore you please. The metaphoric structure is not every-day one, I like this flow it is positive breating, apres-love making thought, vivid range of worlds what "could be", it is unvelievable soothing athmosphere, usually you have powerful poems even when writing about feelings they have too much power to consider them soothing - usually they want mobilize but this one is different. Very nice change, dear Ilene, you can just write, how ever you like to, an extraordinary poetess you are. I feel here, you offer a passionate resistance to "him" it reads like you want to dwelf on this moment from yesterday and wait what is going to happen tomorrow, and if the castles what he painted - stand stable enough to fall in love. wow. Clear intelligence and "mystical talent" with unquenchable awareness - that's what you are for me.

[Ed Hart]

You see, they should never have let women become smart, because now us lagard members have to squint and try to say pointed things in the presence of creations that exceed us, like birth, and a patient love that recognizes the terrain in advance, and sees in tints while all we see is red. Just great, my lady...Ed

[Leah Simone]

Ilene, this is haunting - the way you describe the images - how this world is lit and viewed - the mood that presents and tone by simply imagining this scene in this lighting was great. You suggest having created a world in your mind that includes another, but the reality is - that other person isn't living in your imaginary world - not breathing - you long to see proof they are real, alive. I like the castles as well, because - it eludes to dreams of their own as well.

I may have misinterpreted, but what I got out of this is something I relate to on a very deep level - creating what we think is perfect even in less than perfect situations - such as the rundown area you walked through, but we paint it in an un-natural light making it seem glamorous in some way...more alluring perhaps....we have a preconceived notion of that person we long to connect with, we dream of their attributes, attributes of a fantasy person....and in the end we are lonely...living in this world we created - longing to connect with someone, breathing - living, longing to connect with another dreamer.

I really enjoyed this poem and love how it was a different artist side of you, I've not seen before or not seen enough of to recognize it as being you. It is great you have the ability to display a variety of styles...versatility keeps things from becoming predictable.

[Robert Luna]

This was really great. Your words were wonderful. You captured so many images that were really beautiful to imagine even if they were full of decay and rot. The vividness of them from your words was what made them beautiful. Love the reference to Frank Miller. I was not expect this when I open the poem from the title I thought it was going to be about being drunk. LOL but it was for sure a pleasant surprise.

Great Job!!!

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This is great but do you mean Frank Miller creator of Electra and Daredevil (both American films now) or some other? I love the alliteration in this piece.