Perfectly Lit

alone and in times that held nothing
I wrote of you before you
in manifesto style volumes
bound in cache at no loss for words

last night I dreamt of us in Frank Miller grays
color tinted with pheromones
and amber gold Glenfiddich
while under argento and platinum skies
we strolled decaying urban landscapes
with ramshackle shaped skylines
by a riverside on weathered docks
awash in surreal metallic tones
painting my visions ala Yves Tanguy
with grand hopeful delusions
made real by laying down
bemused perditions endlessly

Came today I had promise
as the sky perfectly lit
showed galaxies full of endless possiblities
yet here I sit
again alone in my perfect world
and all I want is to see is your breath
making castles in the air

Reviews

[Gandré]

Ilene, this is really inspirational! I had many many messages, still have and now came down to this. Never think, I ignore you please. The metaphoric structure is not every-day one, I like this flow it is positive breating, apres-love making thought, vivid range of worlds what "could be", it is unvelievable soothing athmosphere, usually you have powerful poems even when writing about feelings they have too much power to consider them soothing - usually they want mobilize but this one is different. Very nice change, dear Ilene, you can just write, how ever you like to, an extraordinary poetess you are. I feel here, you offer a passionate resistance to "him" it reads like you want to dwelf on this moment from yesterday and wait what is going to happen tomorrow, and if the castles what he painted - stand stable enough to fall in love. wow. Clear intelligence and "mystical talent" with unquenchable awareness - that's what you are for me.

[shel]

I heard you read this on the broadcast today, so I just had to jump over here and comment!

last night I dreamt of us
in Frank Miller Sin City grays
color tinted with pheromones
and amber gold Glenfiddich

I'm a freak for imagery, esp. color, esp. when it's so specific and cleverly-presented, and as soon as you said "Frank Miller Sin City grays", you REALLY got my attention. That whole section, the amber gold Glenfiddich, the platinum skies the metallic tones...wow.

The last two lines are wonderful. I think you said (am I remembering correctly?) that this is a bit different from what you usually write. Anyway, I really like this. (Even though it made me feel sad.) I enjoyed your reading very much too. :)

[Six Impossible Things]

yes!
'in Frank Miller Sin City grays'
it'd be quite an image if we could all walk around like that. moreso if the only colors would come from our words. Like purple vapor in the air each time we spoke.

but on cold nights, the breath is gray and everything else is shaded in.

This is exquisite. Sadly beautiful and I feel connected to it in ways that I can only feel.

[Scott Casale]

Possibly there's err in this lines: "Came today I had promise
as the sky perfectly lit"

There's a place where the swallow swoops wishing for words cast in to the air. I was brought there by a romantic moment here. Where the pave meets spat rivers edge. Where Ilene can take you.

Real Nice read. - But of course.

[Antony]

Ilene I'm a firm believer that if one can dream, think of, or fantasize about something or someone, then they can also make it come alive in their life if they choose. Anything that can be thought of in the human mind can become reality. It depends on our own will to make it happen. The picture that you paint in this gray colored poem, can also be turned into a vivid reality. Your lines are exquisite.
Tony

[W Alt. Burns]

last night I dreamt of us
in Frank Miller Sin City grays


that's all you gotta say to paint a picture.

nicely done.

[Nathan Strange]

sweet ending. Frank Miller eh?? i liked sin city too really good!

Came today I had promise
as the sky perfectly lit
showed galaxies full
yet here I sit
again alone in my perfect world
and all I want is to see is your breath
making castles in the air

i loved this last verse, it was off the wall!
i feel like im alone in the galxy sometimes,
castles lol great imagery

[Otto L.n. Pipgras]

"frank miller sin city grays"...great line- this line does so much to place the reader into your words...taken at value, one can see the dirty gray scale of a violent city as the backdrop, or if one is so informed, they might consider the blue screen backdrop of imagination where anything becomes possible.

Marvin rocks, but I think you'd kick his a*s.

[Eric]

Damnit. Or is it damn it?

Now I'm going to have to do some research. Who the hell is Frank Miller? What the hell is "Glenfiddich?"

Next time you send me a poem make sure you only use words with two syllables. Damn it. Damnit.

(love this just because you used the word "bemused.")

[Jenny Davis]

There is so much wonder in this BRIGHT world but when someone we love leaves it seems more like a cell than a world...very nicley written, seems different from your usual, I like!

[Rob Welch , Master Of P..]

Very nice. I love the use of colors in it. Frank Miller Sin City gray. lol. Yes it does sometimes feel like the world is filled with that color sometimes. I just like to add colors wherever I see fit. Keep up the great work!