Perfectly Lit

alone and in times that held nothing
I wrote of you before you
in manifesto style volumes
bound in cache at no loss for words

last night I dreamt of us in Frank Miller grays
color tinted with pheromones
and amber gold Glenfiddich
while under argento and platinum skies
we strolled decaying urban landscapes
with ramshackle shaped skylines
by a riverside on weathered docks
awash in surreal metallic tones
painting my visions ala Yves Tanguy
with grand hopeful delusions
made real by laying down
bemused perditions endlessly

Came today I had promise
as the sky perfectly lit
showed galaxies full of endless possiblities
yet here I sit
again alone in my perfect world
and all I want is to see is your breath
making castles in the air

Reviews

[Gandré]

Ilene, this is really inspirational! I had many many messages, still have and now came down to this. Never think, I ignore you please. The metaphoric structure is not every-day one, I like this flow it is positive breating, apres-love making thought, vivid range of worlds what "could be", it is unvelievable soothing athmosphere, usually you have powerful poems even when writing about feelings they have too much power to consider them soothing - usually they want mobilize but this one is different. Very nice change, dear Ilene, you can just write, how ever you like to, an extraordinary poetess you are. I feel here, you offer a passionate resistance to "him" it reads like you want to dwelf on this moment from yesterday and wait what is going to happen tomorrow, and if the castles what he painted - stand stable enough to fall in love. wow. Clear intelligence and "mystical talent" with unquenchable awareness - that's what you are for me.

[Deanarrlack]

I liked this very much, I kept envisioning Casablanca for some odd reason. Well written.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Danny----------------------------

[Unknown Poet (a.k.a. &q..]

Hmmm. dyslexic in spots but I like it!

[Angelheaded Hipster]

This is what poetry is all about. The visuals, the arousal of the senses...I don't even know what to say about this without sounding like a lovesick wannabe-like-you-when-I-grow-up writer....

The last line....stunning and just beautiful.

[Amelie Florence]

"last night I dreamt of us
in Frank Miller Sin City grays
color tinted with pheromones
and amber gold Glenfiddich
while under argento and platinum skies
we strolled decaying urban landscapes
with ramshackle shaped skylines
by a riverside on weathered docks
awash in surreal metallic tones
painting my visions ala Yves Tanguy
with grand hopeful delusions
made real by laying down
bemused perditions"

i'm sorry, but i don't know what else to do but gush. this is absolutely gorgeous. not a detail left out, the use of color, every sense synthesized making the reader feel as if they themselves are immersed in this place, the surreality of it all from the film noir landscape of a graphic novel/movie, to the warm haze of a fine scotch, to the bizzarre dreamscapes of an Yves Tanguy. this may be my favorite poem on this whole site. you need to be published.

[Aka; Donnie (ramone) Ka..]

color tinted pheremones, God what madness we would endure if we saw pheremones, and shocking if we traced them to the producer. esp on busy street.
breath making castles in the air, nice tie in... these two thoughts, anchor stores really, like JC Pennys and Macys at opposing ends of the mall.

christ, if only I could write from the head, like this instead of the hip. every time I come back to read and just wow.

[Tigran Avoundjian]

last night I dreamt of us
in Frank Miller Sin City grays
color tinted with pheromones
and amber gold Glenfiddich
while under argento and platinum skies
we strolled decaying urban landscapes

that did it for me...your word choice is so fitting, everything falls into perfectly. and i think you can use the word "argento" with just about anything and it would sound utterly amazing. I really feel this piece on a personal level as well, hit close to home.

[Steven Kowal]

I would love to know....where did you get such a refined vocabulary? That's one of the joys in reading your works. I must confess, love poems are a dime a dozen, and then some. But yours are so effective because they take me into a different realm where almost anything is possible.

[Being.john.sweet~The Ev..]

ahh very nice indeedy: awash in surreal metallic tones
painting my visions ala Yves Tanguy
i love the way this rolls around in my brain! great work

[C. Marie Says, "do..]

this is really taking. I had to read it a few times. i love your references to sin city and pheromones. to me, and i know i could easily be wrong, but i saw a wish. a life that somehow seems out of reach. i really enjoy your technique. it is grandly crafted, and bound in ilene. your breath making castles in the air floored me! so many places to take that. easy to see someone breathing ghosts into the winter-air, as well as someone speaking stories. i could go on and on, so i will leave it. this is my favorite of yours so far, although your work is always interesting and well-done, i have these moon-eyes for well-written romantic poetry. a sap, i am! :)

[G. Cedillo]

stuck the landing! so many allusions in here, all adding to the radical vision of mystery and love-loss in your sparkling and vibrant imagination. I deeply enjoyed the rare duality of your surreal word-image with the clear-cut allusions to the very read (literary) world
great, thanks
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