autobio: ijb intro

“They say God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And as much as anyone can say how invincible I seem or how fearless I am or how brave I must be, I'm still human. And I've seen things and I've felt more pain than some will in their entire lives, all before the age of even being able to buy a f*****g drink at a bar. But I have to be strong, not for myself but for a greater purpose, because I feel like my duty is far beyond me, you know? Beyond saving my family. It's for the world because somebody out there really needs to hear this. So to anybody who isn't here to see how far I've gone or how far I've yet to go. To family members that didn't make it or friends I lost along the way. Or maybe someone I gave my heart to that didn't know what to do with it. You should be here.”

�" Kehlani “Intro”

You Should Be Here (2015)

 

Just to start off, I am the s**t. That is not me being egotistical or narcissistic; it’s only a fact that I’m a knockout. I have such confidence and “je ne sais quoi,” that is unmistakable and indescribable and abundant. However, in no way, shape, or form do I think I am the best or the greatest of all time. Let me make that very clear, I ain’t s**t. But, I am the s**t.

Living in this society nowadays, you need to have that “I am the s**t” mentality. Through every failure, I am the s**t. Through very success, I am the s**t. So many circumstances and people in life will try to bring you down, and you sometimes need to be slightly arrogant to even sustain yourself through the storms. My humility will never be compromised nonetheless. God is my witness and a lack of humility will surely bring me down further than I will ever go.

Growing up, I was told to be very careful about my mannerisms and how I spoke to people who did not display my skin color because a lot of people give black males a certain stereotype. You know it, everyone does. I am a loud, indiscreet, blunt African-American young man. This stigma of being angry and “do nothing, be nothing” is old. I am not that stereotype and I don’t care for it anymore. Think what you want about me because at the end of the day, I am a threat to you and everyone else. I am something to be reckoned with. Even to this day, people are still surprised that I have a 4.0 grade point average, a contender for Chapel Hill High School’s Class of 2019 valedictorian, DECA chapter president, vice-president of our school’s student government, and scored a twenty-two on my first ACT in seventh grade and a twenty-seven in tenth grade with little studying on both tries. Yet, I am still required to prove myself to people, even when I may be ten steps ahead of them.

From all that I have been through, I am extremely frank and coarse in my work and anything that has my name attached to it. If it doesn’t go my way, if it isn’t in the form that I want it: I am not happy. I have a high caliber for what I find acceptable because people don’t believe that I have made my way to the top justly. I expect the best because they want to see me fail. I must work twice as hard and be three times as good to even have a chance. Therefore, if my work is not up to par, I am as good as nothing. Once you achieve a goal or level, you become a threat. Once you become a threat, you become a target, and the enemy will always want to shoot you down. So now if you come for me once, make sure you hit the second time because I am not the one to be fucked with.

On another note, a mantra of “Peace, Love, and Joy” is what I preach. Without one state, the other two are impossible to reach. Through my near two decades on this earth, these three states have taught me the greatest lessons and made me the happiest in the situations where I reside. From what you read, you are going to wonder how. My pastor once preached, “All is well in the end. If it’s not well, it’s not the end.”

 

IJB. I, Jayden Braxton, promise to tell you the truth, my truth.