Shy Girl

A shy girl.

Hiding in the shadows of the world

Her beauty is so great...

Yet the fear she feels is too

Everyone she ever trusted hurt her...

Now she hides in the shadows of the world

Just trying to survive.

The girl feels nothing but fear,

Yet she's braver then anyone else

Her heart is more beautiful than anyone in the world

Her courage would shine as bright as the sun

Yet her shyness interferes...

She hides in the shadows of the world..

Yet she shines so bright.

Reviews

[Rikkevi Rue]

I like the way you counterpoint her attributes against her fear and withdrawn character. It reflects the truth of those things which are pure often being sequestered or unsullied by the world for it has not yet found them. And is it not also true that there is great strength in truth or the original unaltered form of something. It reminds me of Tolkiens dialog of two wizards discussing the virtues of white. One expounds that it can be broken into a prism of colors and the other retorts that then it is no longer pure. Which seems to be the conflict that your protagonist is suffering.

I also like the slightly contradictive line:

"The girl feels nothing but fear, yet she is braver than anyone else"

Your writing has great promise!