Are You The One For Me? (1)

I guess I should start with my name and all that other information about me. Well, my name is Callista. Callista Ashley Brown. It doesn't sound like a name most girls would have, but it has a nice jingle to it, don't you think? My name is completely different from me, for instance, Callista, is really supposed to be Callisto. Callisto happens to be a constellation; Ursa Major or "great bear". I'm not such a big fan of bears or filled with knowledge about stars. My middle name, Ashley sounds like some blonde's name, I'm not blonde, at all. And Brown, my last name, I hate the color brown. But, Callista, I like Callista, it sounds really nice, if you ask me. Not that anyone ever really does.

I happen to be thirteen years old and in eighth grade. Like I said before, I never had my first kiss or even a boyfriend, but who would at this age, you ask. Well, there are a lot of people, that have boyfriends, even if they are just twelve. A lot of my friends do. But, then you would say, "So, what? Just because you're friends do, doesn't mean you have to." And you would be right, but if you think about it, then you also see you're kind of wrong. See, no boy has every had a crush on me, except for when I was younger and didn't know much then. But when I grew older, no boy has ever done so much as at least glance at me. But, the most important thing for a girl is not a simple crush, but The One. That's the highlight of this story; The One.

I have long black hair and dark brown eyes. I had a lot of friends from other classes and only a few in my class.

Anyway, right now I was at lunch. Just sitting there, I didn't really eat lunch, the food was just so gross. My friend got lunch, but she didn't eat, she just gave it to someone. Her name is Mahruk. She has short black hair and dark brown eyes. Her face is small and round, with rosy pink cheeks. She was really pretty and a lot of boys liked her. But, she wasn't really a big fan of boys. She hasn't met her perfect guy yet.

I started looking around the cafeteria, my eyes fell on my old crush. I used to like him, but not anymore. I noticed him talking to someone, a boy, that was looking at me. I wondered why a boy like him would be staring at someone like me for. I never seen him before. I looked away, when my crush noticed me looking that way. His name's Dylan. I started fiddling with my fingers and casually looked out of the corner of my eye. My eye darted back before he could notice though.

"Hi." a voice said.

I looked up and saw the boy from before, this time I got a better look at him. He had black hair and brown eyes, with the cutest dimples on his cheeks, which I noticed when he smiled at me.

"Hi." I said slightly confused.

"My name's Eric. What's yours?"

"Um, Callista."

"That's a nice name." it felt nice to hear a compliment from a guy.

"Thanks. I've never seen you around before." I pointed out.

"Oh, I just moved here a couple days ago." Eric explained to me then shifted a little, looking me over briefly. I tensed a his stare and wondered why he decided to talk to me. wierd.

"Oh."

We were both silent for a moment. He stared at me, his eyes sparkling slightly, as he smiled.

"So, um, can I ask you something?" he asked, looking into my eyes.

"Uh, sure." I told him.

"Since I'm sorta new, I was wonderin', would you like to be my friend?"

"Uh, sure." I repeated.

"Great! Um, I'll see ya 'round, then."

"Yeah."

He left, smiling at me, as he walked back to his table, which was right across from where I was. By then, my friend was already back at the table.

"So, who was that?" she asked.

"A new boy, he asked me to be his friend." I replied simply.

"What did you say?"

"I said sure."

"Wow! Maybe he likes you."

I looked at him through the corners of my eye and saw him smiling at me, I smiled too.

"So, what's his name?" Mahruk asked.

"Eric." I answered.

"Cute name."

"Yeah."

Author's Note

Sorry, 1st ch.s kinda short, but i didn't know what else 2 rite & i didn't know how 2 end it.

Reviews

[LochnezzMonster]

I like the whole beginning and how it's very detailed and thoughtful. I wondering about alot of things though. like... When your writing a dialogue or "the character talking" it shouldn't be just the sentence of a qoute and then a response from another person. :D kinda looks awkward, dontcha think?

sooo when Eric says: "Oh, I just moved here a couple days ago."

Maybe you could add a few thoughts and say what she thought about that. And most of the time; not ALL the time you want to have a : "Said, spoke, responded, explained, argued, or asked" at the end of a qoute so it become a complete talking sentence. >.< if that makes sense. and then she has a thought about what she herself is saying or what he is saying orrr an action. soooo for example.

* "Oh, I just moved here a couple days ago." Eric explained to me then shifted a little, looking me over briefly. I tensed a his stare and wondered why he decided to talk to me. wierd...

it gives a lot of detail and also tells the reader what the narrator might think about what's going on. even though she's responding something, a reader likes to know what she thinks about it in her head.

>.< I really hope you take this as constructive to help improve your already great writing. you have a great plot but I wanted to help you with a problem that I struggled with and alot of people make mistakes with. ALOT of people. hehe. I'll definatly keep reading this story so don't worry about it not being intresting.

And...if you don't have it in your mind to do. I would really like to know more about what Eric and her crush look liked. plus her friend. not just in the face but all around. you know.. hieght, body build, and maybe there skin tone like how you described the main characters! good job and keeping writing!