Flower of Breath

A flower that blooms in the garden of Eve

It cries for you in the silent of night

How she seduces you to bite upon its golden flesh

When the poison within will drip onto my soul

I now taste the bitterness of your endurance

The bloody stench corses through my lips

And the stinging venom surges through my veins

Once an emerald green, now black

I am now but a crutch to lean on your emptiness

And your emptiness will be for I, to be your crutch

Yet she still holds on, to a leash of rotting corpses

She laughs down to you triumphantly

As your last breath looks upon

The bleak future that beholds

But as your heart pumps its last beat to exist

You smile to a future that is not so bleak

For inside a palm of sweat and tears

Lies the last flower to bloom in the garden of Eve.

Reviews

[Bluet_Belle]

This is very original.

It makes me think of Neitzsche, really.

"I am now but a crutch to lean on your emptiness

And your emptiness will be for I, to be your crutch"

reminds me of this quote of his, in an antonymic way

"I am railing by the torent, grasp me if you can grasp me. Your crutch, however, I am not."

Anywya:P

GREAT write:)

[Orlando Murcia]

Excellent write!!

I love the creativity in this piece,
you have a great flow with words
it was enjoyable for me to read

Great job

Orlando M

[Emily Rose]

I have a strange affinity for Adam and Eve themed poetry, and you take an interesting stance with this one. It seems to be written from Adam's perspective and he seems to be cursing Eve and blaming her for "seducing" him into eating the fruit and losing his immortality. This isn't want I'm used to from Adam, but you do a good job executing it - the imagery solid, though it feels a little scattered at times - and you really get Adam's bitterness across. I like how it ends in death, too - that's not something that I usually see done in Adam and Eve poetry. Good job!