Lives Fueled By Life

Umm, don't really know, just sort of wrote this on a spur

A darkened sky full of hope

Underneath its shady exterior

Fire fuels and surrounds me

A perfect recipe for disaster

 

Waiting for the event to unfold

Secretly believing a myth

Feeling the first drop fall on my cheek

Then realizing that it's not mine

 

This is just the beginning

As the drops begin to multiply

The second one to fall belongs to me

I am sad,

I had been saving that one for years

 

Fire fueled by rage

Cracks fueled by my emptiness

While the drops flow with despair

A solid foundation,

Instantly crushed by my worst fears

 

The zodiacs, they pass

Then returning and repeat

Drops that left many scars

I lick my wounds and live.

Reviews

[Steph♥]

Uh... yeah this is pretty much AMAZING!! lol = ) You're words are exactly what I was thinking in my head, only you did it about 10 TIMES BETTER!! haha...
♥ily

[Emily Rose]

This is very well done. The first line drew me in - generally black skies are the herald of dark and depressing poetry, so it's really interesting to me how you mixed up the usual cliche and said the sky was filled with hope. The whole rain/fire contrast works really well, too - it gives the poem a feeling of tension, the two opposites pulling against each other and creating an atmosphere of panic and confusion. I kind of got the sense that the fireballs (metaphorical?) were coming from the sky as well, so I had this really cool image in my head of a girl standing in a field of falling stars and pouring rain. Quite the contrast and very interesting to watch in my head. Maybe it was the references to the "zodiacs" that gave me that impression. Good job with this - it was a really interesting read.

[Michael]

It is an interesting read. It has good balance, i think balance is really required to make free verse work well.


Nicely done.