You've been bad (all the time)

I love you but right now I can't stand you.

I was always curious about my family tree. What if I had royal progeny? What about african grand-grand-grandparents ? My parents doubt that, but I'm pretty sure I will find that out when I grow up and make my own research. Right now I have a different kind of tree to worry about, my friend tree. As a young lady I've achieved some knowledge, I've attracted some people and repelled other (I'm not sure about the last part ..), I've created my personality and as a tree I gave fruits and flowers; the fruits represent those who can fall and they're a lot but my flowers, my real ones represent the ones that grow up more gorgeous every time I take care of them and I'm very caring, believe me. They don't concern me because they're faithful but my fruits who literally suck all the energy from my being, those either turn on gorgeous flowers or fall for my ground roots and suck all my positive energy until I'm left weak and insecure. 

Meet my soulmate - my most evident parasite. It ain't a guy, it's a woman whom I give all my support and share all my knowledge and stories with. We never had a fight until this last summer when both me and her decided to share some truths. Madness moment, we sat side by side writing on our laptops forgiving letters to each other. Then our birthdays came; she turned 18 (22 in USA) and I turned sixteen, university vs High School and I couldn't believe we were facing problems every time, one after another; we couldn't have a conversation without a discussion in the middle of it. I never raised a red flag about our relationship, I thought well that was temporary I mean friendships aren't fairytales, not everything's pink and we worked that out. Good moments came across the bad and things came back the way they should be; we shared stories, we laughed at guys, we gossiped, we consoled each other on the phone, we sang on the phone even though none of us is a good singer, not even a reasonable! I loved her and I still do because of her strength, but now we don't laugh at guys because it seems that a thing one of us finds funny, the other doesn't and we argue, we cannot talk about men because our points of view are different, dark and white; everything's bad for her, everything's dangerous, everything's forbidden, everything should be planned and thought and nothing can fail or work out and I JUST CAN'T STAND IT! I am positive about people in different situations, because if I weren't I wouldn't be the same; I believe in people and their way of being nice and not just unsensitive as she may think. I still love that woman but I'm starting to see the one I fell for diappearing behind a scared and hurted mind. She always told me I shouldn't listen to what other people say and I'm not a pleasant audience for critics (I guess nobody is!) but now she's the one to warn me about what they may say. Who the hell cares about what they may say? Where did that policy of non-caring about them go? What's wrong with you? The problem could be mine, but it isn't because I stay faithful to myself. A drama queen with a little bit of spicy mind but with a little bit of more experience and hope in her heart, because good people (especially men) exist, love , they just need to grow up. I hope you soon realize that too,

P.S I love you.