if I capsize

My body is creating battery acid. I can feel this poison moving through veins. I feel so sleepless, so tired, so lost in a sea of ... If the waves get much higher, i fear I won't be able to hold my own and swim back to shore. To safety, to higher ground. I'm drifting outward, no longer able to fight this tides current. And at this point, am I willing to? I've been fighting, fighting myself. My body taking physical punishment from my own hands. Why should we fight each other? Why should these things get lost in translation? Why close off your ears to me, your other? Its a mirrored image. You vs. Me. And we not swinging.. me not using the same emotional push that you seem to use. This will get us no where, this will make you numb. I wish I could climb into new skin, in to a new body that wouldn't feel so cold. I wish I could be loved, loved like you loved me dear. Ice is forming around this hollowed heart, and the cold is starting to set in. Its like you never came to warm me, like I never felt sunshine, never felt you. Remember the day you met me, the sadness in my eyes?! Take another look dear. Back up and look at this larger picture..