Again

"I did it again," I said.

"I thought I said to never do it again!" she complains.

"I know..."

      She sighs, I can see it in her eyes, she cares.  Maybe she doesn't hate me.  Maybe she really does love me.  I can see the tears beginning to roll down her face.  She walks away, not a word.  She is obviously hurt inside.  This makes no sense.  If she really did love me, than why would she leave me.  And if she doesn't love me, then why does she cry when I cut.  I just don't understand.

      Now whenever I think of cutting, I see her face, the hurt in her eyes.  I can't bear to see that.  I haven't cut in weeks.  I'm beginning to feel angry, and upset.  I need to use the razor again.  I have forgotten what my blood looks like.  I try to imagine it in my head... Nothing.

      I don't care what I see anymore.  I have to do it again.  I know it will hurt her.  Its almost like I'm addicted to it now.  I can live with the grief of her tears.  But I have gone so long without it, I feel like a crackhead that hasn't smoked in years.

      I couldn't do it.  Her face is still in my head.  I couldn't bear the pain I could see that I was causing her.  I can't cut anymore...

Reviews

[Courtney Elizabeth]

aww this is cute. ur actually a good writer. i thought i was good. look at urs! haha. anyways. who is it about? jw...u can tell ur buddy!!!

[Tiff-AH!-knee�]

who is her? miranda?

and is this real or a story? talk to me, please...