Chapter 3

this is a very short chapter others will be longer. this is also my first time writing from first person perspective.

Chapter 3

“This isn't what I wanted

but I love the company”

The door was in front of me. Behind it layed the creature that had caused endless nightmares. Now I had to check. Had to make sure that it wasn't there. It hadn't been here in weeks but still the fear lingered. I trembled as I reached for the knob. I had taken two shots of liquid courage and still was shaking in fear.

Slowly and carefully I turned the knob and pushed the door. It didn't creek. it didn't make a sound. I peered in and let out the breath I had been holding. It wasn't here. Once again I was alone in this huge castle. If I was religious maybe I wold thank god. If religion didn't scare me maybe I would praise god for letting me be all alone.

I never really liked being with people though they loved me. Here I only ever had to see them through the windows. They would point, wave and cheer and sometimes I would wave back though usually I would turn away. I never knew how to deal with them I never had to. It was scary trying to be what they wanted. It was so much easier to just let my drugs tell me who I am.

I never wanted to think of who I had to be. Not for them and certainly not for myself. The sweet voices that whispered to me after the shots would tell me. They would let me know who I was today and what I was doing. I never had to think about myself after the needles pierced my skin. That was all I really wanted.

I didn't need the castle the people gave me I just needed myself, my needles and my smokes. If it were up to me though I wouldn't need myself. I would be someone else. Anyone else. That said I would just as soon be no one. It would be all the same to me to have never existed at all.