Where Did It All Go Wrong?

Everything seems to slip away

As we sit here with nothing good to say

My mouth is full of sharp glass and empty pledges

Your words are pointed and jagged around the edges

All our memories are swirling around us like smoke

Slipping through the cracks of a relationship that finally broke

We're two rhythmless clocks that fell out of sync

Desperate to be rid of our evanescent link

The ruins of our love are scattered across the floor

And neither of us are willing to pick up the pieces anymore 

Reviews

[Bare trees]

You've taken the time to pay attention to rhyme. This poem resounds with sorrow in every stanza. Relations often start okay but often times fall apart faster than we anticipated. The heartbreak is evident and can be felt at the end of the last line.

[Cattleya]

wow this was great the way how you just expressed your poem

[Inject Positivity]

Brilliant use of words. The story of a broken relationship. The ending two lines was superb as they present the brokenness of that relationship... Very good use of metaphor which compliments the poem...

Sincerely
Dhiman

[Dr. YumnaKay]

"We're two rhythmless clocks that fell out of sync
Desperate to be rid of our evanescent link"
Nice metaphor used here.. An emotional piece that speaks the pain actually felt.. Good work..