- first choice -

A poem that sprung from yet another dysfunctional relationship of mine.

everything seems
so f*****g pointless

I sit here
and cry,
wondering why
I even bother
trying.

I wish,
that just once
I would be
enough
for someone.

I want
to be someone's
f*****g first choice.

I want to matter
to someone.

I want someone to tell me,
I'm worth it.

Someone to just hold me.

Because sometimes, that's all a girl needs.

I don't need to feel wanted one day,
then unwanted the next.

I need someone reliable . .

Maybe I'm overreacting.

Maybe this is all my fault.

S**t, what the f**k
am I saying,
this is my fault.

I shouldn't have these feelings
for him,
I shouldn't want
to hurt myself,
shouldn't have
to hurt myself.

Yet I do.

Confusingconfusingconfusing.

Why do I make everything,
so much more complicated
than it needs to be?

/fml.

Author's Note

It's like everyone has somebody. Everybody but me.