Oh, December

Oh, December- when will you be happy again? 

I longed for you in November- how I wished you were here. 

Now- 

If only I could turn back time to that one day when all was perfect and right- 

When my heart was full and banished Evil was nowhere in sight. 

Oh, December how I mourn that you ever came. 

 When will I be happy again?

Reviews

[Daniel Valentine Rivera]

The months of October, November, and December bring back so much nostalgia. Those are where my happiest moments are born. But that doesn't mean I can't find happiness in other months. Enjoyable and relate able poem. Nice job!

[Coyote Poetry]

Funny how a month can change our thoughts and our emotion. I liked the use of description bringing to life the need to return back to November. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[icomeanon_13]

Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed the poem.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[Pushkar Prabhat]

its awesome POV writing....
an end can be sad and tragic or it can bring hope and happiness.
i liked it!!!
:)

[Sanjh]

Short but very powerful. Most of the times life is not what we expect, it shocks and surprises us everytime. But there's always a hope in our heart that one day everything will be alright.
Thanks for sharing this excellent piece of work...:)

[Kristan A. Mohammed]

beautiful piece. December really is a sad time. it symbolises an end. we need to keep in mind that a new beginning always starts at the end. loved the comparison.

[RileyRedding]

I know this feeling!
I love the concept of this.
Keep up the lovely writing.

[Lizzie Mitchell]

I can relate to this
life tends to not conform to our expectations
what we think will happen rarely happens
and what we feel from moment to moment can change for any reason

[icomeanon_13]

Thanks for reviewing Lizzie. Anything you think could use some work about this piece? I'm not convinced it's my best work.

[Lizzie Mitchell]

The concept is really good.
I agree, it's not your BEST and if you aren't satisfied we have to fix it!
My first thought is I have a personal thing against old-timey language like that because it often sound forced if you don't do it exactly right and that damages the sincerity of your piece.
If you like it, it stays. But I would revise the "would that I could."
The first two lines are last two lines are great. I like the way they tie everything together.
Now I feel like your discontent with this piece might be that you didn't fully express the depth of what you were feeling. I enjoyed it but since you're not satisfied with it maybe you weren't finished. I would re-read it and get back into the place you were in when you wrote it. Then see if you can elaborate on how you felt with some descriptive words. Maybe even just sit with paper and pencil and jot down random thoughts that come to your head. It will help you dive deeper into the message you want to convey.
Think deeply about why you feel the way you do.
Were you foolish in November, creating unrealistic expectations?
Do you feel like you're always waiting for the next month to come and never enjoying the one you're in?
Are you mad at December for not being wonderful again?
Do you regret getting your hopes up?
Those are some examples.
Once you've analyzed your feelings, maybe you'll think of more to write.
Like if you feel wishful you might come up with something like
"Perhaps you've deceived me and my dream will be realized yet"
or if you feel needy maybe you'll beg December "grant me my desire and relinquish my soul from toil"
Those were terrible but maybe they'll help spark your creativity and emotions.
I hope this helps!

[icomeanon_13]

Lizzie! This is the kind of review I am *always* looking for. Thanks for your solid input.

[icomeanon_13]

I changed "Would that I could" to "If only I could," but adding more felt too personal and I've never been a nudist.

I suppose I'm no poet if I cannot say precisely what I mean, but what I mean is so close to my heart that I dare not share it. Is it enough that I know what it means? I don't know. I suppose it must be.

[Lizzie Mitchell]

I know what you mean
If you read my haiku, "poetry" or my most recent unfinished piece I feel the same way
Writing is a place to bear your soul
I urge you to be that honest and vulnerable in your writing
And if it's too personal don't post it
But you'll still reap the therapeutic benefits of bearing your soul naked on a page
And honestly, if you do post the more personal ones you may not be as exposed as you think
Everyone may get a completely different interpretation from it :)