Crashout Bandicoot

heartbreak phase 3-hollow/languid

Dear diary It's day 7 without Adderall I sleep in a pile of freshly laundered but still unfolded clothes

For breakfast I had a kiwi unpeeled Homework is due yesterday Perhaps I'll go back to sleep if I can stop bouncing my legs

The bottom of this bottle where I keep the best versions of me when I didn't learn they prefer i exist silently cover up my personality

Mask on when I wake up Hard to know the real version of me I memorized my lines played the part so expertly buried all my curiosity

Ghosts drinking on the balcony smoking these cigarettes like they're good for me I thought I said that I would quit but that was before you were just a memory

and it doesn't even matter what I say you'll still be gone at the end of the day

My heart can't keep beating and all I ever am is sleeping

I hope that she misses me when she tastes something sweet or am I the only one who's suffering? why wont you ask me not to leave please, show me that you cared While the next episode is buffering

this house it has four walls cluttered up with all the things I own but it never feels like home because home is where the heart is and my heart's all alone

I yearned for the ocean while you bled like a stone bound to this prison of crumbling bone this coast is my graveyard and you were my home

I'm not just a mess I'm a natural disaster and I could have been all yours if you'd only let my rain soak into your pores

I let my hopes outside to air dry and forgot where I hung the clothesline

watching the words you wanted to say drifting out to sea from Yaquina bay

My heart can't keep beating and all I ever am is sleeping

I hope that she misses me when she tastes something sweet or am I the only one who's suffering? why wont you ask me not to leave please, show me that you cared While the next episode is buffering

Your name popped up the other day still pinned to the top of my cashapp contacts list and for a moment I wondered how much I would pay just to tell you that the worst place I've ever been is added to your block list