Close to me

A Story by HuntingShadows

As close as I can get you...

    I held you for a while on Thursday; were you bored? I could’ve held you like that for all eternity, I think. I wonder if you realize how all and any anger seeps from my pores when we touch.
   I got really angry today, but I don’t know why. I think what pushed me over the edge was having to listen to the f*****g parrots screeching over and over, then the realization that it’s never actually quiet in this damn house. I can’t even write or read in peace. I really wish those birds were dead.
   I slammed their door shut but still didn’t feel at peace, I had to think about you and your hands to calm myself down. It’s kind of ironic… how this morning I tried meditating for the first time, and then I got so angry all of a sudden. I watched the movie Troy to relax a little. I wanted you to be there with me to watch it, but I know if you were, I wouldn’t understand anything, your eyes would distract me and gather all attention.
   You know, those moments where you stroked my hand and arm, I really was about to fall asleep, and surely would have if people weren’t passing by every so often. You brought about such peace that meditation would be jealous of you (if it were to work, even).
   I’m sorry if I hurt you, I know your neck was in pain at one point (did what I could to help), but I notice how I always have to pull you tighter, closer to me, to the point that I can’t have you any closer. I’m not sure if I can break that habit, but I can try. I just love it when you’re close to me.