It's Dystopia Baby

I am your Dystopian girl
got a black leather vest
here at the bottom of the world,
wearing shades so I can't see the decline.

I stand in the dark and wait for nothing
under this rusted and broken street lamp.
Heat from crowded streets and hustling alleys
keeps the blood moving in my veins for now.

Lament if you need, cry if you want
buy into the creed, it's Dystopia baby
that we made by hand with our friends
we like to call misery and disease.

We're always looking for someone else
to step up to the plate but the
early bird special is apathy baked.
It's Dystopia baby, wake up and smell the decay.

Reviews

[A.A.]

I wonder whether you had a particular city in mind when you wrote this. I grew up in London, so it's a familiar landscape - familiar rhythms - to me. Something like 'keep the blood moving in my veins for now', for example, is so edgy. I like it alot.

There are some things which maybe clang a bit awkwardly.. The line is very strong in itself, but plate/baked landed a bit wrong on my ear in the last stanza. Baked opens up very nicely into decay, however, in terms of sound. Maybe 'to step up to the plate' stands out as being not quite so original as the rest of the poem: I'm English, so I don't really know, but it's a baseball metaphor? If you've got time to fiddle with it, you might want to look at that.

Doesn't really matter, though - it doesn't take away from an engaging, thought-provoking read.

[icelandicblue]

Thanks for your thoughts. Step up to the plate means to take action and probably comes from baseball. I used it specifically as a play on words since baked goods can be served on plates. I appreciate your candor however and will mull over your suggestions. Thank you again.

[therisa]

This poem reads, like the antithesis of the American dream, where everything has gone wrong, over the years, as indifference sets in, and people have given up hope, of it, ever improving. Love the second last line of verse, with the "apathy baked".

[icelandicblue]

I honestly think this can apply globally. There are places like North Korea which is about Dystopian as you can get. Not everyone though gets to live a dream, here in the US and elsewhere. A lot of people's lives are nightmares not of their own making. Thanks so much for reading and commenting.

[therisa]

True, but the situation in countries, like North Korea is different, from the rot that has settled in, the US, as an outside observer. For North Korea is ruled through a cult of personality, much like all dictatorships are. Just look at what happen to Yugoslavia, after Tito's death.

[icelandicblue]

I will admit therisa the US has it's difficulties but I would disagree that some special sort of rot has settled into my country. I would not pick another place to live (well maybe Paris) and I am proud to be an American. I will leave it at that.

[therisa]

There are some things that the US has gotten right, which I wish Canada would adopt, like the issue around passports for transpeople. But, I don't want to live, in a country, which everyone goes around armed to their teeth.

[icelandicblue]

I don't own a gun. No one I know owns a gun. But I do realize it is the perception that many have.

[therisa]

It's the story, Canadians hear, about the US, and its loose gun laws.

[willweb]

I am now officially lost in your poem and I am not sure if I will ever find my way out. Each sidewalk seems blocked and those damn rusted street lamps are definietly all broken. And even though I know I am sitting at my desk, I am not...not any longer. Wow, Icelandicblue, this was fantastic.

[icelandicblue]

I appreciate that will but I definitely don't want you stuck in this poem!!

[willweb]

You wrote it, can you write in an exit for me? :)

[icelandicblue]

Well...I suppose. ; )

[Pryde Foltz]

We're always looking for a hero
to step up to the plate but the
early bird special is apathy baked.
It's Dystopia baby, wake up and smell the decay.

Awesome write, IcyBlue. The decay starts within … nurture the inside and the outside changes too:)

[icelandicblue]

So very true Pryde. Thanks for the read.

[Einstein Noodle]

if i were trying to stand up your poem sat me right back down ... whew! i was in the Navy in the 60's .. your broken street lamp reminds me of a night (stationed out of San Diego) myself and a friend had leave and went to a concert .. we decided to walk back to base .. it was late .. we ended up in a neighborhood that grew increasingly dark because the street lights were more and more broken out .. we past a group of gentlemen standing around a store front that displayed a Black Panther logo .. we were eyeballed like raging fire spit from a hungry cat .. we went to the corner and immediately tried to get a cab to come and pick us up .. after several refusals because of the neighborhood we found one that agreed after being assured that we stay at the phone (no cells at the time:) booth and that indeed the street light overhead was working ... anyway .. great job in describing Dystopia .. and so applicable in all time zones .. i can feel being pulled under when reading ..
E.

[icelandicblue]

Wow, that is some story! And it drives home the point that there are plenty of dystopian societies right under our noses then and now. They aren't all in books or movies . Thank you for sharing your story. It's better than the poem!

[Einstein Noodle]

no .. i don't think so ;)
E.

[J]

oh my. a dark departure is exquisitely captured here. the last stanza sent lightning chills starting at my toes -- a rare occurrence, mind you. there is a ruthlessness, an awareness and off.handish disregard for weakness [emotion, softness of heart] that is particularly arresting. it's dystopia baby! one could nearly crawl inside your descriptive deftness here. well done! [shivers]

[icelandicblue]

Thanks so much j. I'm happy you felt the cold flat eyes of this poem. Now I hope you've warmed up. Thanks again. ; )

[Matching Socks]

This gives me chills...
I've read it three times and I see a different scene each time.

[icelandicblue]

I have always been a fan of dystopian novels ever since I first read Brave New World. This poem is a reflection of all that imagery that I carry in a little dark place in my head. Thanks so much for reading.

[Matching Socks]

Me too!! :)
You're welcome.

[Lyn Anderson]

If I had to guess, she is a street kid, possibly an addict, a run away, a prostitute, a drug user. She is a symptom of societal disease. At least, that is my take on the way you've strung these words together.

[icelandicblue]

It's all in your perspective. Thanks so much KL.

[s y e]

Lament if you need, cry if you want
buy into the creed, it's Dystopia baby
that we made by hand with our friends
we like to call misery and disease.

WOW. Anne, can it get anymore powerful? I truly back everything Jacob has said, I could not say it better but all I had to add to is how amazing you are - truly my admiration.

[icelandicblue]

Thanks so much. I do appreciate that!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and there is no getting out....or at least it feels like it---the opposite of eden...

where we are shamed into putting on those fig leafs to cover up our embarrassment at the apathy we have in this world...

at least the dim street light helps us to not see as well...some things left better in the shadows.

[icelandicblue]

The shadows most definitely have their purpose. Thanks jacob.