The Tell Tale Poet

Beware the friendships you accept for they are not all equal nor are they all friendships.

You friended me twice
I should have gone with my gut
you
     had
          never
                  read
                        one
                             word
                                    of
                                      mine

But the second time you requested I relented and did not say no, the benefit of the doubt and all that, let's check this fellow out...

He fancies himself Poe reincarnate, the poem wasn't bad...fast friends
don't last when the bulk mail of read requests get dumped at your door and I had the nerve
to private message "Nevermore." Please reciprocate before the body of your work is left bleeding on my steps (that was the implication, I was much nicer when I said it).

He told me it was nothing personal...he had 400 friends he was writing a book he was busy...he'd get to my work sometime. I wrote back I wasn't whining, we're all busy but to please not fill my inbox with read requests until he felt that I was more than just a repository for his work. I would be happy to unfriend him, no hard feelings, should he find that request too difficult. He didn't like that. He doesn't want to be my "friend." anymore.

All this took place within 48 hours. I wasn't cooperative. I couldn't be one of the 400 who didn't question his friendship. He didn't have time to read a word of mine but he did read my messages. I suppose that's something. He blocked me in the stealth of night and I suppose some "friends" are too much work. He did leave me one more read request, like a cat leaves the gift of a dead mouse on your doorstep. But this poem was more like bloody breadcrumbs placed more for me to see what his genius had done. I had been banned, he knew I would foolishly click on his poem, and the sooner I knew my non-status the better, for I was no longer worth his time.So annoying was I for questioning him unfriending was not enough. I questioned the man behind the curtain about fairness and he reacted in a ball of blustery indignation.

To do it again...I just should have said NO once again to the second friend request. Let this be a lesson to all...don't let some high faluten' poet use you to boost his ego up onto the popular board or use you to read his poems like piece work you never get paid for on any level. We all deserve a bit of reciprocity, respect, feedback and support...isn't that what a friend is?

Choose carefully, everyone who extends a hand of friendship, everyone here is not here to be your friend. We share an interest in poetry, sometimes only in our own. Respect yourself and your time and never be afraid to speak up. There are some poets who are big babies and others who are big bullies. I'm just looking to read, learn, enjoy, perhaps make a friend or two and improve this pastime of mine some of you kindly call poetry.

Reviews

[redflutterby]

BRAVO!! I wonder if the person you refer to is the same one who has sent me multiple friend requests even though I deleted him. Seven or eight months ago I accepted his friend request...then received numerous read requests. In the next two months he did not reveiew my work once. When he published some long.. rambling..error filled write about why he was giving up writing which then ended up putting him in the top writers I deleted him. Since then I have received four friend requests and two messages extolling his wonderful writes. Once again...not one single review of my work. Ive noticed a handful of writers on here like this...its not the norm. Though I have had a few writers message me asking me to read a new poem of theres when the standard protocol on here is to review and then you receive a review in return. In three of these cases I did in fact review the write and received no review in return. Sigh...

To be honest if you have 400 friends theres little chance you can keep up with the reviews and comments you receive. Not unless you are seriously committed or have no other life. With a few exceptions...those with huge friends lists are most often one sided relationships. You may get an occasional pat on the head if lucky but otherwise you are just someone to stroke their ego. I prefer to stick with those who are more personal then that and actually enjoy reading other peoples work.

Amazing rant...well said.... applause here!!

[icelandicblue]

I am sure it is the same person. He doesn't even respond to comments on his work. He's too lofty. Four hundred friends is ridiculous but can also be misleading since people come and go, close their accounts but still remain on the friend list. I was not looking for 1 to 1 reciprocation. I currently have almost twice as many reviews as comments received. What irks me to no end is to find 8 Read Requests from the same person, some of them old, just to boost his or her standing. Mama didn't raise any fool. There are poets on this site much more prolific than myself. I do not keep a running tab at all. And it probably is the same person, he doesn't even know who he is friending, he sees people on line and friends them all to add to his little collection. I questioned him privately- he couldn't take the "pressure." The implication was his life was too busy to bother himself with me and a bother I am because he blocked me. I say good riddance because now he won't come rapping or tapping at my poet's door for we are nevermore. Thanks for the support as always and "getting" what I am trying to say. Needless to say our interaction is done:

Out—out are the lights—out all!
And, over each quivering form,
The curtain, a funeral pall,
Comes down with the rush of a storm,
While the angels, all pallid and wan,
Uprising, unveiling, affirm
That the play is the tragedy, “Man,”
And its hero, the Conqueror Worm.

E. A. Poe "The Conqueror Worm."

[Einstein Noodle]

i agree with the redflutter .. BRAVO! it is so hard to keep up but so very rewarding ... all our different voices stated with creativity and music and color ... we do need to be selective ... and true .. good job
Icey! and thanks for the warnings :)
E.

[icelandicblue]

My pleasure Einstein. I have a tendency to call them as I see them. It's always a bright day when you read my work. Thank you.

[Sheila Kline]

I am so sorry you were used in this way Anne!! And I admire you for speaking up! I stopped accepting read requests and don't send them out as my time is limited, but I enjoy writing and posting as able. The work of my friends is special and though I have little time, I do try and stop by and review a couple of poems every once in a while. Your work is exceptional, and that of many others here. It is always a pleasure to read you. If I stayed active because of the # of reviews I get, then.......well, my account would be closed. We are a community and friendship among fellow writers is a joy, but it should be mutual! Otherwise, we are but as leeches in a pool of too many words!

[icelandicblue]

How lovely to see you Sheila. I have grappled with the read request option. I've had it on and off at different times. I hope that you are well and thank you for commenting.

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the story. I don't send read request. I wrote over 300 poem and story last year. This year I will write more. I do read in return. I believe it is just respect and concern to read the people who read your work. I have made many good friend writing for 10 years on old MySpace, W.C and Wordpress. Old friends from old MySpace had assisted me in getting published often. Writers need to network. To ensure your words is read and expanded. Need true friends to help. Writing is hard work. You must seek new places and readers. Thank you for sharing the story on my favorite subject. Writing.
Coyote

[icelandicblue]

Thank you so much Coyote. We are part of something bigger...writing. I agree with you 100%. We eventually reap what we sow and our words come like thunder back to us when they are heard by others.

[Pryde Foltz]

We all deserve a bit of reciprocity, respect, feedback and support...isn't that what a friend is?

Like we all don't know exactly who this refers too. My feel, you get back what you give out and not an iota more. Me, I accept almost all friend request and I am open to RR's to, but time is short and those who practice reciprocity get the time I have to give. An integral part to being an artist in my opinion is celebrating the work of others. I think what this individual might learn at some point is that the world is full of gifted artists; those gifted artists that are also giving are the ones who get somewhere; in short, succeeding as an artist takes a lot of good will from others. But I wouldn't sweat it; that's what the delete button is for;)

[icelandicblue]

Ah but it gave me something to write about and for that I thank him. He is gone from my realm and nary a knave misses him. Thanks Pryde.

[icelandicblue]

And I don't think it is who you think it is...I just defriended that friend today since it was on my mind.

[Pryde Foltz]

Not like it matters, but I checked your friend list and he's not on it and I checked his friend list and he has over 400 friends. But seriously… lol … it doesn't matter. I think a few more years on him and he'll get the point.

[icelandicblue]

So little time...so few friends lol. You can have too much of a good thing. It's absurd and I write about these things instead of getting mad or stressed. I have a tendency to mull things over and writing is cathartic for me. Don't sweat the small stuff they say but I sweat it all. I just axed a couple of story tellers you might have just missed them. ; )

[Pryde Foltz]

The thing is he does the same to me. Never reviews and bombards me with RR's. But it really doesn't matter. LOL. Long may he write, but I am unlikely to read.

[icelandicblue]

What is a writer if he has no one to read his words...a typist?

[Pryde Foltz]

with split personalities;)

[MsJewel]

I'm clapping really loud here!!!!! I'm not sure if I was taken advantage of by the same poet, but the story sure sounds the same. He friended me and asked me to read 35 or 40 of his poems for a book. I spent hours reviewing his work - not a thank you or a return review. The difference is I didn't confront him as you so bravely did - I just deleted the a******s friendship and never answered when he attempted to friend me again.

It is true - with 400 friends it is hard to keep up. I have a hard time keeping up with the handful of friends I have, but I always try my best to answer read requests and I always send thank you's. I have learned not to accept anyone's friendship unless they leave a review on one of my poems. They are either looking for reviews or up to no good - sending me inappropriate emails, etc.

I applaud you for posting this. I hope he reads it - and I hope his 400 "friends" read it too.
Hugs, Julie

[icelandicblue]

You are so funny. I guess a lot of us "suffer" with this type of friendship but we are often too polite to say anything. I think that is what they are counting on. I too have just let this stuff go until now. I was blown away by the audacity of the reply...400 friends, writing a book...too bad for you...don't expect anything from me any time soon. So today I cleaned house and all those who send requests but never give a single review are gone and I've learned a valuable lesson...just say no thank you. Thanks a bunch Julie, I always love your enthusiasm for my little public service rants.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Darn and I thought I was Poe reincarnated. I never accept read requests unless they read me first. I also never accept one without seeing their work so I can tell if they are serious about writing or just goofing around. I love the Poe references to get your point across.

[icelandicblue]

LOL...Poe had a lot of baggage to go along with his poetry. I love your poetry just as it is. It's just that I have enough annoyances in my life so I'm not looking for them on line. I will never accept an unknown entity again that's for sure. Thanks for your kind words. ; )

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

My pleasure hon, I have been here 8 years, you just live and learn who to talk to and who to avoid.

[Glass Heart Inc]

I'm sorry that someone used you like that. Thank you for the lesson you shared with everyone.

[icelandicblue]

Alas another life lesson. Thank you for your kind comment.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Amen Anne---

it's like that...the majority of poets reciprocate...but some? i don't accept friend requests unless there have been interactions, reviews both ways---that is a poetic friendship...i receive all kinds of private messages.."read my story" "read my poem" "please read my works" from people i never had any interaction with...as you said...when someone reviews us? the proper thing is to review back...and then a friendship can be started...I have some friends now who reciprocate once out of about 10 times
that I review them... at least it happens sometimes...but after awhile...i just stop too...we are not here to be used, we are here to share---it is a community...we are not just here to be fans of other poets---although, god, there are several here i just admire like crazy and feel so inspired by...but those are not the selfish ones...the really good poets generally share, not all, but most.
People also don't seem to read bios at all...because many of us state directly that we will accept friend requests, but only from those who review our work in return...unfortunately some do it only once to get the friend thing going and then no longer after that.

We need each other...poetry is a giving thing.

Well expressed here.

jacob

[icelandicblue]

Jacob thank you. I know you don't send out read requests and I admire that. Your work stands on its own. You comment on a wide array of work but like I once said and you commented on "I don't need more homework." I was polite in my interactions with this person but ego and immaturity (regardless of age) lead to entitlement and selfishness. My guess is that these are attributes that are carried into real life. Thank you for sharing your experiences.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

another thing i find sometimes...someone reviews one of my poems...friend requests me...i accept return the review, review more of that person's work, and then find that "that one particular first review" is it...never hear back from the person...Just once to hook me into being a friend...hate that.

[icelandicblue]

Selfish is as selfish does but it does leave a bitter aftertaste that it is all a shill game. How ridiculously conniving. I enjoy the sharing part of poetry. The camaraderie and the opportunity to read others is as important to me as the feedback I get. They do not know what they are missing.