Murmur Sweet

Murmur Sweet

A Poem by icelandicblue

I found myself upon a road
an adventure it might be,
and so that day I followed it
a girl both wild and free.

I saw the wildlife watching
to see where I might go,
I knew not yet my travel plans
feeling a bit like old Thoreau.

And as the sun reached up
to take his place on high,
I looked up to feel the grace
that filled the cobalt sky.

A tree then did invite me
to rest beneath her bough,
so feeling quite fatigued
I slept there for a while.

And when I did awaken
refreshed I felt anew
and knew the road I'd taken
did more than just pass through.

it was a journey pure
both body and in spirit
my heart began to murmur sweet
and I could finally hear it.



© 2014 icelandicblue


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

Very nice, and very well crafted. :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


icelandicblue

10 Years Ago

Thank you so much Mark.
Wonderful poem fantastically written

Posted 10 Years Ago


icelandicblue

10 Years Ago

Thank you Kasey. I appreciate your comment.
Hard for me to not think of Frost's The Road Less Traveled upon reading this, which is a compliment of course. And as is the case with that poem, I detect the potential for lots of interpretations here. In my own life, I'm still looking for that road with the wildlife and cobalt skies and inviting trees, but in the meantime I'm happy to be here with reading it through the mind and hand of one of my favourite poets. The flow and rhymes are seamless and precise, and I love the title as well. Greatness as always my friend.

Posted 10 Years Ago


icelandicblue

10 Years Ago

Ah thank so much. I think anytime one writes about a road Frost comes to mind, he did while I was wr.. read more
Overall, I liked the message you conveyed and I appreciated the way you brought everything together in the final stanza. However, I'm generally not a big fan of structured rhyme/meter, because I tend to find it distracting - which is personal nit, I know. So what happened as I read this is i was paying more attention to your rhyme and rhythm than I was to your content....and then i feel sometimes the need to drive the right meter/rhyme forces a writer to choose the words - instead of just using the right word, you have to use one that fits the best....frustrating to me. So your 4th stanza became a distraction to me, because it didn't exactly fit......so that's my little diatribe. You know I have great appreciation for your work, this one just wasn't exactly my cup of tea ;)

Posted 10 Years Ago


icelandicblue

10 Years Ago

I totally understand chacun à son goût. I find that a simple meter and rhyme to be soothing to oth.. read more
ChemicalMadness

10 Years Ago

ha! Hey, you can write positive free verse as well (I'm sure I have one or two somewhere around here.. read more
icelandicblue

10 Years Ago

I have ; ) only Poe can do doom and gloom well in rhyme. Thanks so much.
it's often not the place where we end our journey that counts as much as the journey itself.

thoreau would have appreciated this write, i am sure...

Posted 10 Years Ago


icelandicblue

10 Years Ago

So true Jacob. Thank you for your comments.
We never know where life will take us and where we will lie our head .This is profound Lady Blue :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


icelandicblue

10 Years Ago

That is so very true. Thanks so much Vidya.
Vidya Bacchus

10 Years Ago

You are welcome :)
It’s seem that you took the road not taken, the one that few would dare. I enjoyed your fifth verse the most. I changed your fifth verse to a more compact style with six syllables on each line. You may have this change as a gift:

When I had awaken,
rest changed my point of view,
for the road I’d taken
did more than just pass through.

Posted 10 Years Ago


icelandicblue

10 Years Ago

Thank you Aethereal. I have changed one of my lines and inserted your words instead.
Aethereal

10 Years Ago

This verse is really beautiful now. It reads in a natural way. My words were just a quick and easy r.. read more
it was a journey pure
both body and in spirit
my heart began to murmur sweet
and I could finally hear it.
Such a wonderful writing and with above ending you nailed it brilliantly my friend.


Posted 10 Years Ago


icelandicblue

10 Years Ago

I appreciate that Amos. Thank you.

4
next Next Page
last Last Page
Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

1264 Views
38 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 6 Libraries
Added on April 18, 2014
Last Updated on May 8, 2014

Author

icelandicblue
icelandicblue

Boston



About
I do not accept any new friend requests unless we have read and commented on each others poetry. No exceptions. I have enough homework as it is. I expect reciprocity in our exchanges. Read my work and.. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Aware Aware

A Poem by Sami Khalil