Murmur Sweet

I found myself upon a road
an adventure it might be,
and so that day I followed it
a girl both wild and free.

I saw the wildlife watching
to see where I might go,
I knew not yet my travel plans
feeling a bit like old Thoreau.

And as the sun reached up
to take his place on high,
I looked up to feel the grace
that filled the cobalt sky.

A tree then did invite me
to rest beneath her bough,
so feeling quite fatigued
I slept there for a while.

And when I did awaken
refreshed I felt anew
and knew the road I'd taken
did more than just pass through.

it was a journey pure
both body and in spirit
my heart began to murmur sweet
and I could finally hear it.

Reviews

[Mark]

Very nice, and very well crafted. :)

[icelandicblue]

Thank you so much Mark.

[Kasey Miriam]

Wonderful poem fantastically written

[icelandicblue]

Thank you Kasey. I appreciate your comment.

[kublakhan27]

Hard for me to not think of Frost's The Road Less Traveled upon reading this, which is a compliment of course. And as is the case with that poem, I detect the potential for lots of interpretations here. In my own life, I'm still looking for that road with the wildlife and cobalt skies and inviting trees, but in the meantime I'm happy to be here with reading it through the mind and hand of one of my favourite poets. The flow and rhymes are seamless and precise, and I love the title as well. Greatness as always my friend.

[icelandicblue]

Ah thank so much. I think anytime one writes about a road Frost comes to mind, he did while I was writing this. I really haven't found this place but I am hoping it is out there if I just keep looking. If I find it I will surely give you directions. Thank you so much again for your words and encouragement.

[ChemicalMadness]

Overall, I liked the message you conveyed and I appreciated the way you brought everything together in the final stanza. However, I'm generally not a big fan of structured rhyme/meter, because I tend to find it distracting - which is personal nit, I know. So what happened as I read this is i was paying more attention to your rhyme and rhythm than I was to your content....and then i feel sometimes the need to drive the right meter/rhyme forces a writer to choose the words - instead of just using the right word, you have to use one that fits the best....frustrating to me. So your 4th stanza became a distraction to me, because it didn't exactly fit......so that's my little diatribe. You know I have great appreciation for your work, this one just wasn't exactly my cup of tea ;)

[icelandicblue]

I totally understand chacun à son goût. I find that a simple meter and rhyme to be soothing to others it is grating. None of my dark and depressing poems are written in any rhyme form. I appreciate your input.

[ChemicalMadness]

ha! Hey, you can write positive free verse as well (I'm sure I have one or two somewhere around here ;)

[icelandicblue]

I have ; ) only Poe can do doom and gloom well in rhyme. Thanks so much.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

it's often not the place where we end our journey that counts as much as the journey itself.

thoreau would have appreciated this write, i am sure...

[icelandicblue]

So true Jacob. Thank you for your comments.

[Vidya Bacchus]

We never know where life will take us and where we will lie our head .This is profound Lady Blue :)

[icelandicblue]

That is so very true. Thanks so much Vidya.

[Vidya Bacchus]

You are welcome :)

[Aethereal]

It’s seem that you took the road not taken, the one that few would dare. I enjoyed your fifth verse the most. I changed your fifth verse to a more compact style with six syllables on each line. You may have this change as a gift:

When I had awaken,
rest changed my point of view,
for the road I’d taken
did more than just pass through.

[icelandicblue]

Thank you Aethereal. I have changed one of my lines and inserted your words instead.

[Aethereal]

This verse is really beautiful now. It reads in a natural way. My words were just a quick and easy rearrangement of your original line, so I still consider them as your words.

[A. Amos]

it was a journey pure
both body and in spirit
my heart began to murmur sweet
and I could finally hear it.
Such a wonderful writing and with above ending you nailed it brilliantly my friend.

[icelandicblue]

I appreciate that Amos. Thank you.