Beyond Solitary Walls

I am in a prison
built by others.
Yet I remain
even though I hold the key.

I long for a jailbreak,
and wonder when
the car will come
to pull the bars from the window.

Too many lost years
too many betrayals
too many disappointments
too little comfort,

And so I wait
for a pardon from above
that would allow me to move
away from this place

beyond myself
beyond the angst
beyond self-pity
beyond regret.

The clock ticks loudly
yet I pay little attention
so consumed in counting
all the cracks in my psyche

that contains a code
I must decipher
buried on the far so side deep and dark
that even the light cannot escape.

Reviews

[MsJewel]

A wise and thought provoking write. I enjoyed this one very much :) Julie

[icelandicblue]

Hi Jewel,
Thanks so much I am glad you liked this one.

[Einstein Noodle]

i love this...my cup of tea for sure ... some people never attempt the journey within ... let alone pursue it with addiction ... (can't retreat though the choice is there) opening all those doors ... so much terror in some ... some so easy ... so deep the light that leads one can not escape ... ooooo i love this ... and your beautiful mind ..at least that the way i read this .... tho one can take it on many levels i think ...
E.

[icelandicblue]

Thanks Einstein, it most certainly can have a multitude of meanings I think.

[Relic]

Everyone below has echoed my thoughts. We are the only ones with the key to unlock our unhappiness and gloom, yet how elusive it can be to find for some. This is an accurate interpretation of this effect on people. great poem.

[icelandicblue]

Thanks for your thoughts Relic.

[Relic]

You're welcome.

[s y e]

This is so true. We are the only ones who can set ourselves free, Anne. Sometimes I think that we forget just how strong we actually are, we have had so much happen that has got us down, we forget that we have all the power we need.

[icelandicblue]

We are the key...some prison walls are thicker than others and it takes longer to escape.

[s y e]

That's true.

[therisa]

Reading this, I am reminded, of my own corrosive relationship, with my mom. How her sudden appearances would trigger an anxiety attack, for me, as I wonder, what need brought her, here. Until November 2012, when I told her, to f*ck off and kicked her, out of my life, for good. As guilt and joy, filled me, for several months, until I realized, I was better off, without her presence, in my life.

I hope, this poem is a fictional write for you, and not from personal experience. If personal, I hope you have found the strength and courage, to take the necessary steps, for your own personal liberation. Thank you, for sharing this poem.

[icelandicblue]

Thank you for your thoughts and your concern. I'm happy for you that you had the strength to break down your own prison walls.

[therisa]

Your welcome and thank you.

[Travis Gibson (poetic h..]

"And so I wait/for a pardon from above"... that line slammed down like a brick on my foot! I think we are all guilty of that while dealing with a hardship. Great write!

[icelandicblue]

Thanks PH- I think many can relate to the scenario at different times in their lives. The key is not to make it a life sentence. Thanks so much for your review.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Preach! Sounds like you should create a companion piece.

[Zahra]

This is really wonderful. Only we can set ourselves free or there'll be a never ending wait. Amazing write

[icelandicblue]

Finding the power within is what it's all about. Thanks so much I Have A Voice.

[Frieda P]

This reads self flagellation, we tend to beat ourselves up even when circumstances are out of our control...I'm baking you a cake with a file. ;-) Set yourself free Anne. Great read and very relatable.

[icelandicblue]

Thanks Frieda, I like chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. : )

[Frieda P]

Ha I'm not really a baker but I make a mean lasagna, I think a file would fit nicely tween layers of tomato sauce. ;-)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i love this, Anne....sometimes that is the problem. We just can't get past ourselves...we stay in our own way...and can't get out of the darkness.

[icelandicblue]

So true jacob and I often find myself in this place waiting for that magical arrow that seems lost in the mail.

[Deuces]

Wow. Painful self-realization here. This so perfectly describes a situation of a woman I know, who cannot seem to muster up the mettle to break free from a failed marriage. So powerfully written... absolutely loved "Yet I remain, even though I hold the key." I guess in many ways, we all have the key to our psychological freedom but are somehow incapacitated to use it.

Adding to favs.

[icelandicblue]

Thank you G. We are very often the wardens of our own fate. I appreciate the fav.