You Knew Her Once

Really, I've got nothing but here it is anyway.

She wore this place well,
her vanity draped strategically
across one soft-milky shoulder.

The stiletto heels of her Louboutins
sharp enough to pierce confidence
and hearts with equal aplomb.

Should you catch her eye
make yourself small
or she'll make you smaller

than you thought possible,
the tinier she could make you
the greater the fun she'd have.

You've seen her you know,
heard her lyrical laugh floating
effortlessly drawing rapt male attention

and female daggers too weak
to even nick her wicked aura
of self proclaimed conceit

that she worshiped each day
before a gilt mirror leaving
lipstick marks after each visit.

Saucy, shrewd and stylish
her belief in herself was
simply a pandemic of illusion,

that would fade over time
and she would be forgotten
except in her old films

that she would watch
over and over in the dark
through the lens of a bottle

crushed by the weight of an ego
too large for such a slip of a girl.
She was beauty's greatest gaffe.

Reviews

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Sadly, so many women have lived this life on the screen of everyday life. I'm reminded of a woman, now passed away, and our brief conversation with one another many years ago.

She didn't look as if she felt well so I asked her "Are you okay?"

"No," she responded.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I'm getting old," she said.

"We're all getting old," I responded.

"No, I mean, I'm getting really old."

She was a blonde-haired, blue eyed beauty, always a housewife, a sun-worshipper, and her whole life revolved around her looks. With the passage of time, gray hair, wrinkled sin, and age, her looks were fading. Unfortunately, she came from a time when few women worked outside of the home; and her looks literally were everything. Without her youth and her beauty, she literally felt as if she had no value in this world. This is what society continues to do to women today.

It's a shame really.

Yes. I knew her once. One day, I'll be saying the same about my younger self.

Nice job.

[icelandicblue]

That is such a sad story but not an uncommon one in a culture where beauty is everything until it isn't. Thanks so much for sharing that story, sometimes I think aging has become akin to a crime these days.

[sayed Mudasir Ali]

A very nice poem which makes the grave statement here and although some of the words were directly involved and they kinda outlined the subject .....A nice try in illusions

[icelandicblue]

Thank you for your comment.

[Ees]

The first two lines are pure brilliance. Besides the perfect imagery, I know exactly what you mean by wearing this place. Just amazing!
Reminds me of poor, sad, drunk Louise Parker, I think her name was, one of any number of has-beens who have hidden in their waning year in my own Rochester, NY.
Nice job!

[icelandicblue]

Thanks so much Ees. Good to see you.

[Richard Layne]

I keep coming back to the last line "She was beauty's greatest gaffe" and i think what a remarkable and sad ending. I like the flow of the piece and have no problem with the 3 line formations. well done.

[icelandicblue]

Thank you for your kind comment. I am happy that you liked that last line.

[MichaelsLyric.com]

Great imagery in this piece. It felt like a movie, actually. Excellent, excellent write. Thank you for being so creative.

[icelandicblue]

Thank you so much I appreciate that you took the time to read and comment. ; )

[Ruairidh]

What I particularly like about this poem is the tone: given the subject matter it would be easy to sound mean, judgemental or even sorry for this person but there is a sustained matter-of-fact feel to what you say that makes for a far more potent poem. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but when the beholder's eyes are faced towards a mirror that concept becomes problematic. I like the structure and the pacing, and that when things turn at the end of the 8th stanza there are no dramatics, but three stanzas that say as much as the second half of a biography could. An excellent piece of work; I've only been using this site for a week but it's the best I've read yet. Thanks for it.

[icelandicblue]

Thank you for such an incredibly kind comment. It is nice to meet you.

[Dispersus]

some really good phrasing here...

" female daggers too weak
to even nick her wicked aura
of self proclaimed conceit"

"through the lens of a bottle"

I felt some of the line breaks were a bit awkward and I think this was due to the three line stanzas...while in the midst of an emotion, the line breaks stuttered the feeling a bit.......there is comfort in never attaining infamy...here we see the pitfalls of the pedestal

Peace

[icelandicblue]

Thank you for your honest feedback.

[Dispersus]

you're quite welcome...feel free to pass by my place sometime

Peace

[icelandicblue]

Will do...nice to meet you.

[Gleb Zavlanov]

This is truly worth the effort! Amazing job and theme you have conveyed.

[icelandicblue]

Hi Gleb,

Thanks for the kind comment.

[Gleb Zavlanov]

No problem. Sorry, I haven't been on writerscafe for so long. A lot of work.

[icelandicblue]

No apologies my friend. We're busy with our real lives. I will be sure to read you soon.

[Vidya Bacchus]

Too often women are so taken up with their looks and consumed by their egos.Selfish creatures who give not a care for another person's feelings.This is most excellent:)

[icelandicblue]

Women can sometimes "cash in" their beauty in society and it creates a vacuum that needs to be filled when it's gone. Thanks for reading.

[Vidya Bacchus]

You are welcome:)

[Lydia Shutter]

You have eloquently described a narcissistic and egotistical woman...one who begrudges other’s any pleasure while making sure she pleases herself. Such a selfish being...and unfortunately, yes, I have seen her and have been the target for her daggers at times as well. How can people have such a different view of themselves than the rest of the world does? Self esteem overdose if you ask me! Even such beings age though and eventually they have to accept they are not what they used to be....or ever were! Truly a faux-pas of a person. I can almost hear the clicking of her Louboutins on the marble floor of high society. You outdid yourself with this one! Brava! Lydi**

[icelandicblue]

Lydi thank you so much for such a fabulous review. I feel you gave the character construction additional depth...she just had no depth of humanity. Something hollow is always easier to break.

[Tom]

Despite her once striking appearance, she was quite a shallow, insecure character behind this facade !

A well written poem with a sobering, moralistic story of vanity and the fickle side of human-nature !

[icelandicblue]

You are right and because of her shallowness she was brittle without that depth. Thanks so much Tom.