First, I love the lack of punctuation that lent an air of one long stream of consciousness about the surety of youth throughout that finally leads to the frost on your lashes. The last stanza being a final thought of its own ... life has left you all alone.
I can relate to this poem. I have chosen to be alone. The opportunites have been there - three engagements, which I've broken, men who have loved me to pieces. Sadly, as my heart belonged to another; and I was unable to settle for anything less, I denied myself anything more. I know full well - now at 44 - that chances are I will remain alone. It never bothered me earlier. Now that I'm on the cusp of middle age; and I can look in the mirror and see myself getting older, I know that the chances for love are fading by the day.
All that love has brought me is a single reflection in the mirror.
Your words sting with truth.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Ah the choices we make...we don't even realize the final effects until much later. I am touched by w.. read moreAh the choices we make...we don't even realize the final effects until much later. I am touched by what you have shared in your review, thank you for that. Life, I have learned, does not turn out the way we planned- we have no choice but to make the best of it but it does not lessen the sting. Thank you too for commenting on the lack of punctuation which is usually not my style and I am pleased that you thought it worked. As always, I look forward to your poetry and to your thoughts.
Fairy tales don't always have happy endings (the real Little Mermaid tale ended up quite sadly, in fact.) The realities of life make us grow up - it is how we deal with those realities that shows what we are really made of. You have expressed your disillusion so very well - your metaphors are extremely apt. I loved the lines:
blessed with a future filled
with peacock feathered hues
until the plumage was plucked
But I could have quoted any other stanza and said much the same thing. Beautifully written poetry, as yours always is, Anne.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you Joyce-
Unfortunately once you've been washed in a cold bucket of reality there is no.. read moreThank you Joyce-
Unfortunately once you've been washed in a cold bucket of reality there is no going back. I appreciate the detailed review.
The poem got stronger with every stanza.
I love the ending!
"fate kissed me long and hard leaving my parted lips blue" , had to be my favorite line.
Life is not a fairytale, yet it is...
Wonderful metaphors.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thanks David-
Life is certainly surreal at time. Glad you liked that line, it's in my favorite.. read moreThanks David-
Life is certainly surreal at time. Glad you liked that line, it's in my favorite stanza- we don't often admit it but we poets do love our own words at times. ; )
Funny how we never think about what happens after Cinderella marries the prince. I mean we assume they have a baby or two but what about the years beyond. Yes even fairy tales come to an end. When our eyes open to the truth of life its quite bittersweet. We live, love, laugh, cry, suffer and one day we die. And unfortunately some of us have far more suffering then happiness. This poem really struck me Anne...feels like these glass slippers are way to small right now.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Yes, I can't stand it when my shoes are too tight and blisters...well you just can't think of anythi.. read moreYes, I can't stand it when my shoes are too tight and blisters...well you just can't think of anything else. You're right though...happily ever after what does that really mean? Always a pleasure when you grace my page.
11 Years Ago
And its always a pleasure to read your words!! Taking these damn slippers off for the night...I've h.. read moreAnd its always a pleasure to read your words!! Taking these damn slippers off for the night...I've had enough of life's discomforts. Back to reality tomorrow. x
What a beautiful image of finally losing the innocence of youth and the bittersweet moment that you become a woman and realize that life is not what you hoped it would be. I love the last stanza about life "unmasked herself". Your imagery is lovely! Great job!
I just blinked and opened 42 year old eyes. How that happened, I do not know. This sounds like loneliness to me. The 7th stanza descibes your pen name perfectly, Blue. Perfectly. The cinderella metaphor works well here. The title drew me in and the pinched toes sting like hell. Angi~
PS: Do you have an unneeded 'a' in the 5th stanza?
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thanks so much Angi- and yes, the errant a has been removed. Pinched toes are awful, I agree.
You give us a real good imagery in this piece... of feeling isolated, narrowed, it's claustrophobic almost...
The longing is there halfway, for a moment, and there is light. but with your beautiful second last stanza, there is cold again... I understand your name now much better, being carried back like a movie of yours, and have felt it on the magical way you explain, and tell it to us... I so enjoyed this piece, and your beautiful English.... thank you :)
- Elisa
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you again for such a beautiful response. Yes, life's temperature is quixotic and I find myself.. read moreThank you again for such a beautiful response. Yes, life's temperature is quixotic and I find myself unprepared.
11 Years Ago
I know what you mean, that's why I live as free as I can, from day to day, and let it be, and come t.. read moreI know what you mean, that's why I live as free as I can, from day to day, and let it be, and come to me.... you're so welcome my friend.
I do not accept any new friend requests unless we have read and commented on each others poetry. No exceptions. I have enough homework as it is. I expect reciprocity in our exchanges. Read my work and.. more..