I Wrote Your Name

Dedicated to my father William Wallace

I scrawled your name in the Book of the Dead yesterday,
All Souls Day, my sobs echoed far beyond the sunlit altar
as the pine trees outside softly whispered sorrow,
and stiff religious icons watched me with brooding eyes.

I wrote your beautiful name with an ordinary pen,
a tool unworthy for such an important act.
Ink fed spaces in my being filled with emptiness.
I was alone with the black shadow of my sorrow.

Your name is now writ in the Book of the Dead
making you no more dead than you already are,
lying quietly beneath the sky and granite where
no amount of rain nor weeping shall awaken you.

So I came to you and told you what I had done
but you greeted me with a thick silence
and your stone was cold to my embrace,
for I know it matters not where your name lies

as long as it is etched in my heart for eternity,
even that is not long enough for me to forget the pain
of losing you and the joy of loving you.
Your name cannot be erased from my heart,
nor now, from the Book of the Dead.

Reviews

[Rita L. Sev]

So eloquently written, this poem of both tribute and grief. Every stanza called me to pause and wallow in your words - your words which describe my feelings... My tears are tears of mourning, yes, but also of gratitude that someone understands. This is an amazing and deeply felt piece, Blue. Thank you for sharing this.

[icelandicblue]

Thank you for understanding what I am feeling. It still feels very raw and yesterday was an emotional day for me. Wallow is the perfect word when one tries to sort out feelings such as these. Thank you for such a beautiful and supportive comment.

[Kenaz]

No words can give back what was taken from you. I wish you peace fellow poet.

[icelandicblue]

Thank you I appreciate that.

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed the journey and the thoughts in the poem. I like the use of the book of the dead. I think of my father daily. His kind words and laughter is missed. I agree with the poem. We need to remember the elders who taught us what love and kindness was. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[icelandicblue]

Thank you so much Coyote. I appreciate your kind reply.

[Einstein Noodle]

i agree with everything that Rita said ... eloquent and emotive to sorrow's core ... what a wonderful thing to have had such a fine love between daughter and father... and visa versa ... your fathers name is of a Gaelic warrior do you trace your heritage??
thank you for reminding me of my own da' ..we do forever miss them all :{
E.

[icelandicblue]

Thanks Einstein,

Yes, I am aware of my father's name and its significance in history. Thank you for noticing that. I am very much engrossed in creating my family tree. Thanks so much for your kind reply.

[Jack...]

Anne, this was so heartfelt and sad. I went to a memorial for a friend yesterday and though I think I am a strong person, the sorrow overwhelmed me at the loss of someone close. I am so sorry for the pain you feel in your heart and I hope that only happy memories will replace it soon.

[icelandicblue]

Thank you, grief is a journey that knows no clock.

[Rachelle]

Our moment here is just a part of the journey

Know that he has made it home.....

[icelandicblue]

Thank you sweebind.

[Joyce S. Greene]

A very sad but loving poem in tribute to your father, Anne. Your sorrow cries out from each line and I empathize completely. Very well written poetry.

[icelandicblue]

Thank you Joyce,

As you know it is both good and painful to remember.

[AYVID N]

This is the most beautiful poem on death, mourning the loss of a loved one and eternal love! Applause to you!

[icelandicblue]

Thank you Divya, I appreciate it.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

we remember what we had once, maybe we didn't appreciate it when it was here...

a stirring tribute...shows the love felt for him, but also the sorrow at losing him...and how we can only imagine when we speak to the dead...that they hear and understand us...

strong emotion in this write. i have felt this loss...and smiled through the tears.

[icelandicblue]

I don't think we often appreciate what we have, it is the way of we humans- "You don't know what you got 'till it's gone," so to speak. I loved him, I mourn him, I miss him and I still love him. It is the way of things, thank you jacob.

[Abdul Aziz]

As the saying goes in our part of the world, "We realise the value of the shade only when we are in the sun"

[icelandicblue]

That is a wonderful saying.

[Angi]

Oh Blue, this is such a sad and wrenching piece. Beautifully written words in honor of your daddy. Even though he doesn't answer, I believe he hears. Hugs, girlie. Angi~

[icelandicblue]

I hope so Angi- it feels so raw again right now. I appreciate your kind words.

[kublakhan27]

Oh my. This has struck me on the deepest level. I lost my Dad last year and I cannot stress how identical my feelings are to those that you have articulated here, almost right down to the formalities that followed it. It's a bipolar night for me, and my emotions prevent me from offering any kind of technical input, but that demonstrates the power and poignancy of this piece just as much. I'm so sorry to read about your loss, but at least you know you're not alone, and that there are many who can relate to your words here.

[icelandicblue]

I am sorry for your loss. Sometimes we can say to someone I know how you feel and I thank you for that. It feels like two steps forward and one back. Thank you for reading and for commenting.