I Wrote Your Name

Dedicated to my father William Wallace

I scrawled your name in the Book of the Dead yesterday,
All Souls Day, my sobs echoed far beyond the sunlit altar
as the pine trees outside softly whispered sorrow,
and stiff religious icons watched me with brooding eyes.

I wrote your beautiful name with an ordinary pen,
a tool unworthy for such an important act.
Ink fed spaces in my being filled with emptiness.
I was alone with the black shadow of my sorrow.

Your name is now writ in the Book of the Dead
making you no more dead than you already are,
lying quietly beneath the sky and granite where
no amount of rain nor weeping shall awaken you.

So I came to you and told you what I had done
but you greeted me with a thick silence
and your stone was cold to my embrace,
for I know it matters not where your name lies

as long as it is etched in my heart for eternity,
even that is not long enough for me to forget the pain
of losing you and the joy of loving you.
Your name cannot be erased from my heart,
nor now, from the Book of the Dead.

Reviews

[Rita L. Sev]

So eloquently written, this poem of both tribute and grief. Every stanza called me to pause and wallow in your words - your words which describe my feelings... My tears are tears of mourning, yes, but also of gratitude that someone understands. This is an amazing and deeply felt piece, Blue. Thank you for sharing this.

[icelandicblue]

Thank you for understanding what I am feeling. It still feels very raw and yesterday was an emotional day for me. Wallow is the perfect word when one tries to sort out feelings such as these. Thank you for such a beautiful and supportive comment.

[joshua deathdealer]

I write about some very emotional topics but some reason I still can't bring myself to write about my father who has also passed away. It is a very hard thing to get out. I commend you for this. It is absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

[icelandicblue]

Thank you, I still have a hard time coming back and reading it.

[PoetryPenPal]

That was beautiful. I'm sorry you lost your father. This poem would make him prooud I bet.

[icelandicblue]

I hope so, thanks so much.

[Arcus]

This is wonderful. Tragic, but wonderful. Then, does not tragedy show us the beauty of life? That same beauty, is stitched into this piece, along with the sadness. Such then, is why this piece is so moving and powerful. It calls forth the humanity in all of us, for who would not relate to this? Death is the great focus of life; we are driven by it every day. Acceptance is strength, understanding is wisdom. So too, will we all have our own monuments, be them physical or symbolic, after we leave this precious mystery that we call life. For those left behind in our stead, is the same pain and grief that we once bore. Such is, as Mufasa put it, the Circle of Life. This piece fully captures all of these points and feelings, while remaining unique, in that it has very distinct imagery fitting the reason for it's existence, that none else but the author will likely fully understand. Be proud of what you have created, as it is a testament to your spirit.

[icelandicblue]

Arcus,

I am humbled and moved beyond words by your response. I felt your words, "Acceptance is strength, understanding is wisdom. So too, will we all have our own monuments, be them physical or symbolic, after we leave this precious mystery that we call life." That was deep and beautiful.

[Arcus]

Just my thoughts after reason your beautiful piece. What can I say? You awoke much emotion in me. Hahaha

[Arcus]

Reading* d****t. Haha

[icelandicblue]

I hate that there is no editing on these damndable boxes. Thanks

[Arcus]

Me too. Hahaha.

[David Lewis Paget]

Losing a loving father brings a type of grief that is unimaginable for those who have not yet experienced it. Your poem, clawed up from subconscious depths to howl out your sublime misery and loss, is not only touching, but heartbreaking. If only, we think, you could revisit for one hour, so we could blurt out all the things we should have said while you were here. Did we tell you how much we loved you in life? Even so, it was never enough. A most impressive effusion of grief.

By the way, it's 'altar'.

[icelandicblue]

Thank you David. A howl describes the process perfectly. Time is something we often wish for after the die has been cast, always knowing it cannot be. I have fixed the errant spelling and thank you for pointing that out.

[MichaelsLyric.com]

Every line of this piece is stitched with love and so much care. Every line says what is almost impossible to express, how much you miss. I think that he is proud of you and your love. Thank you for writing.

[icelandicblue]

Thank your for such a kind comment, thank you.

[writing mojo]

this is very heart felt and the way you describe a name on a gravestone is brilliant. Your book of dead scriptures the spring of life only you and your father know..I love the images with strict religious under tones "stiff religious icons watched me with brooding eyes." wow that's a sticker.... thanks for sharing this well done piece

[icelandicblue]

Thank you again. The event in this one actually happened a couple of weeks ago so the emotions were raw and right on the surface.

[writing mojo]

may he rest in your peace

[icelandicblue]

Thank you.

[Joiedevivre]

this moves me, it is so final, of course, what you describe here, but heart wrenchingly so, from your perspective. Makes me wonder what happened, makes me remember the feeling of loss, acute and numbing and long standing. Excellent poem and I am sorry for your loss.

[icelandicblue]

Thank you for reading and commenting on this one.

[Sarai Lee]

This is so beautiful and heartbreaking, it brought tears to my eyes. You capture loss so perfectly, and the images of the pen to page writing out his name. I also loved how you described the "thick silence" when you spoke to him graveside. Silences like that are often heavy and thick, laden with things you wish you could still hear them say. Thank you for sharing this!

[icelandicblue]

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and I agree that silence can be one of the weightiest things on earth.

[Daffy]

How can I read this without the tears coming thick and fast.
I lost my father in 1963 when in my adolescence. I have thought of him every day since then. Our love for our father will never fade.
Thank you for letting me share your mourning.

[icelandicblue]

Oh that had to have been so hard. Thank you for sharing and you are right that love will never ever fade.

[Daffy]

It was the hardest part of my young life. But hard for anyone at anytime. Daffy