Paper Raincoats

Innocence is wrapped
in a thin candy coat,
exquisitely hued and
smooth,

it pits in the rain
tinting the sewer-

rat ambrosia.

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

This is fantastically concise and yet still so hard hitting. I love the emotion here, and the way you bring to life something tangible in an almost personified way. Innocence has never been described in this way, or at least not that I have seen, so kudos to you for a great write!

[icelandicblue]

So often innocence is lost to the nefarious deeds of others. It feeds those blackened souls. I am please that you found my take on the subject unique- that is a high compliment.

[Melanie Genevieve]

wow is all i have to say. I really like this.

[icelandicblue]

Thanks Melanie. Nice to meet you.

[Jack...]

It is so sad how quickly innocence can be lost, but if by chance that paper raincoat disappears gradually, we also learn in the process of losing our protection. Anne, this was wonderful, your mind brings us great visions of truth.

[icelandicblue]

Thank you so much Jack.

[s y e]

So that's where it is! Awesome write, Blue - you speak such truth and passion. It may be a short write, but it makes an impact and hits you hard. The way it is personified, it's great.

~ Noodle.

[icelandicblue]

Thanks so much Noodle. Your visits brighten my day.

[Mark]

a terrible unavoidable rain. but perhaps something will be saved. I like the structure of this poem. Succinct, Senryu like. Very nice.

[icelandicblue]

Thanks Mark. I owe you some reading. Will be there soon.

[lee von cleef]

Paper raincoats, whip and pop as the horses pick up speed, no need to cluck or smooch, starting this fast how can they relax to finish ?wished I had left the coat, the reins are slick as I climb up the cross and pack him wide , ( that might hide the time) but man we are going way too fast, locked eyes head and head, now the battle is them ,still cranking hard can't do much more or the saddle will slip , then there truly would be hell to pay, this isn't fair 120 against a thousand pounds of hairy muscle.Just passed another pair I can, here them cussing, give me the rail and stay on my elbow, stride for stride now keep their heads picked up but relax, think pull up ,space space hope they unhook. Down through their gaits, now trot keep em straight. Going to throw this coat away , it is the pits to work a pair in the rain,wearing a paper coat.

[icelandicblue]

Love how you used the poem to spin a yarn of your own. I always enjoy that. Thanks Lee

[lee von cleef]

fuel your words are fuel....

[Angel]

What is innocence in the first place?
Is it merely a lack of experience?

[icelandicblue]

It most certainly can be- I feel that it is an inherent trust in things. Thanks Angel.

[Angel]

Ahh, yes...the trust of a little child. But...with experience, the child will lose that innocent trust...or will she?
Did I mention that this is a brilliant write? Just as I've come to expect from you. Lovely.

[Dr. Wood ?]

ah....Innocence.where did it go......Now you have explained Ice.....It takes a one way ticket to Hell

[icelandicblue]

So true Dr. Wood, so true. Thank you.

[Einstein Noodle]

just my cup of tea! says so very much in emotion, thought and life. great job says i!
E.

[icelandicblue]

Thanks E. I like to be brief when I can, I am happy you found meaning in that.

[Marie]

Sweet and sad...innocence is invariably lost...

[icelandicblue]

You are right Marie, in the real world it cannot be maintained.