Dead Ringer

The black cowl of grief
is tight it steals the light
while the wraith of  darkness invades
your marrow and twists your soul.

I am fodder for Nietzsche, his brand of
bitter tasting despair invades my senses.
He understands the shadows,
yet I feel no stronger for it.

I am deep sea diving
without oxygen- too
busy trying to breathe,
unable to see the beauty.

The living bury themselves
deep and try to ring the
bell with arthritic hands to signal
that they are alive- but not quite ready,

while friends take the graveyard shift
and wait and watch for the first glimmer
or spark of life. Laughter, love and time
can close, but never completely heal the wound;

for we are forever wounded.

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I am fodder for Neitzsche, his brand of
bitter tasting despair invades my senses.
He understands the shadows,
yet I feel no stronger for it -- For me, this is the best stanza in the entire piece. The creativity level is beyond sharp and the cleverness is bright. You have really said something here, with these four, simple lines.

Overall, I like the concept of the piece and the way that you brought it from beginning to end without losing yourself in between. The first stanza, for some reason, did not pack the punch that the rest of the piece did--I'm thinking it is an imagery/flow issue with this opening stanza. Otherwise, this was an exquisit write.

[icelandicblue]

I agree with you. I want to keep the concept of the first stanza but it needs to be expanded somehow so that its imagery is stronger rather than stark.

[icelandicblue]

I changed that first stanza it may still need work but I think it is much better.

[Emerald Seas]

Those of us that have weathered true heartache and despair understand this place. It feels like you will never be whole, never be back to the real you, again. Your poetry flows within the depths of sorrow - wonderfully woven!

The scars of pain provide the lessons to enrich a brighter future. I have felt bitter sorrow, yet would not change a thing... Hard to believe, but the light at the end of the tunnel is bright, beautiful, and full of happiness.

A stunning write. It reminded me of where I have been, and how far I have come in this glorious life.

[icelandicblue]

What a beautiful response. Each experience changes us somehow, without them what would we be? Thank you so much for your review and your insight.

[Emerald Seas]

Your poem inspired a moment to pause and reflect on a road that, although difficult, has arrived at a blessed place. Thank you for sharing :)

[Dr. Wood ?]

your situation is developing some very moving and sincere poetry Ice

This is pretty stunning

Be well.

[icelandicblue]

Thank you-

It is cathartic and I appreciate your comment and friendship.

[Dr. Wood ?]

well...I would never have even thought of the word Cathartic..My word power is a tad limited....But you are welcome

[s y e]

"I am deep sea diving
without oxygen- too
busy trying to breathe,
unable to see the beauty." ~~ Wow, this is such an emotional touching write, full of meaning.

Blue, this was absolutely amazing. I really enjoyed this piece. It was really touching. Your writes are full of honesty and passion. You put your heart and soul into them, always. Amazing, lovie.

~ Noodle.

[icelandicblue]

Thank you sweet girl. ; )

[s y e]

Always my pleasure.

[Jack...]

Indeed we are my friend, but at times we must look at these scars and remember the good, for that is what will aid the healing. Very nicely penned with a heavy heart.

[icelandicblue]

Thanks Jack and I am spending a lot of my time with those good memories. A lot of time looking at pictures and I do feel that. I am still struggling with the fact that I will never speak to him again and that just breaks my heart.

[Jack...]

But Anne, you do speak to him every day because love never stops listening, no matter what.

[icelandicblue]

Thanks for that Jack.

[Sami Khalil]

"Grief is tight it steals
the light and hides it
while darkness invades
and fractures your soul.

I am fodder for Nietzsche, his brand of
bitter tasting despair invades my senses."
Wow . You writes are so good and full of deep meanings...Thank you for sharing...:)

[icelandicblue]

Thanks Sami-

You are always so kind.

[Sami Khalil]

MY pleasure...:)