Dead Ringer

The black cowl of grief
is tight it steals the light
while the wraith of  darkness invades
your marrow and twists your soul.

I am fodder for Nietzsche, his brand of
bitter tasting despair invades my senses.
He understands the shadows,
yet I feel no stronger for it.

I am deep sea diving
without oxygen- too
busy trying to breathe,
unable to see the beauty.

The living bury themselves
deep and try to ring the
bell with arthritic hands to signal
that they are alive- but not quite ready,

while friends take the graveyard shift
and wait and watch for the first glimmer
or spark of life. Laughter, love and time
can close, but never completely heal the wound;

for we are forever wounded.

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I am fodder for Neitzsche, his brand of
bitter tasting despair invades my senses.
He understands the shadows,
yet I feel no stronger for it -- For me, this is the best stanza in the entire piece. The creativity level is beyond sharp and the cleverness is bright. You have really said something here, with these four, simple lines.

Overall, I like the concept of the piece and the way that you brought it from beginning to end without losing yourself in between. The first stanza, for some reason, did not pack the punch that the rest of the piece did--I'm thinking it is an imagery/flow issue with this opening stanza. Otherwise, this was an exquisit write.

[icelandicblue]

I agree with you. I want to keep the concept of the first stanza but it needs to be expanded somehow so that its imagery is stronger rather than stark.

[icelandicblue]

I changed that first stanza it may still need work but I think it is much better.

[Travis Gibson (poetic h..]

"for we are forever wounded'... superb finish to a powerful piece.

[icelandicblue]

Thanks for reading my stuff- it seems right now like it will be forever.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

I relate more than I'd like to.

[Einstein Noodle]

that river of pain, of loss, of grief is so much larger than any other in life. wonderful poem! you have captured it. we get tossed into that river and struggle as we my to exit ourselves it just isnt that way. we are swept thru rapids over rocks and falls but learning to float, with the flow, one can realize that we can make it. we notice others in the way with us. those on the shore encouraging and comforting. until we find that spot, that very one of a kind spot that we are able to climb out; join those on the shore; cheering on; comforting; encouraging with our silent prayers. your poem inspires me. didn't mean to go on like i did. :}
love and peace
E.

[icelandicblue]

Thanks so much and I love your review. it is everything you say.

[Baby Ricochet]

Nietzsche. Died at age 40 in the nut house from syphilis. What a crappy way to go for such a brilliant mind. Yes we are forever wounded but that's where our gold lyes

[icelandicblue]

Well no wonder he was so depressed. Just waiting for this wound to cauterize.

[David Scott]

"Dead Ringer"
The title alone commands attention and lends itself for a burst of expression.
I enjoyed the deep sea diving thought. It is hard to enjoy the beauty when we are fighting to survive...
The damage is never completely undone.

[icelandicblue]

Thanks so much David. It's like living in a sepia photograph.

[icelandicblue]

We are forever wounded my friend, for grief, in general only can heal, when we totally forgot a person, or animal, it's a life path, we walk, we carry it in our backpack. This was a sad but beautiful spoken, poem, full of feeling, and the opposit, emptiness. Even in grief you write so beauitful.

I like it that you can express yourself so well. And it does me good to read any part or genre of you.

- Elisa

[icelandicblue]

Thank you for your beautiful and comforting words Elisa.

You're very welcome my friend.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

whatever you did to the first stanza worked...what an opener..

the darkness takes me over...life doesn't interest me, things that were once beautiful i ignore..i just don't care...i am a living person who has buried himself...friends take the graveyard shift watching over me, trying to pull me out of it..dress the wounds, heal the wounds...

but forever they will stay with me..and i will be a "living dead"--

profound stuff.

i like the dead ringer..the concept for me is that there is another me out there...one who is living, got past the past...and the wounds are healing... this other me wants to close up shop.

jacob

[icelandicblue]

Thanks so much jacob- yes if only I could find myself again. I really appreciate your insight.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

"Though the cut wasn't fatal
Even though it was deep
Well that wound's never healed
And the blood it still seeps" There Was A Life by Trans Siberian Orchestra

Every wound physical or emotion leaves a scar so it will never be forgotten and so we will also remember the lesson learned from the experience.

[icelandicblue]

I love the Trans Siberian Orchestra- that's a great quote.
It's so true- the scars may not be visible but we are different for it.
Thanks so much for reading and reviewing.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

My pleasure... TSO has some of the greatest lyrics ever.

[icelandicblue]

Every year they come here and every year I say I am going to go see them and every year I wait too long and they are sold out. I think this year I'm going to get them the first day they are available.

[ANTO]

"Nietzsche, his brand of
bitter tasting despair invades my senses.
He understands the shadows,
yet I feel no stronger for it."
Insight is often of no benefit unless we are ready to take advantage of it - willingness to do so is a moot point in that case.

A fascinating write Anne.
X

[icelandicblue]

The intellect and the heart often have to chase each other. Thanks so much for the review.

[TL Boehm]

the whole poem is wonderful but for some reason it is the last two stanzas that just scream at me from the screen. They are profound and carry a specific veracity that is inescapable.

[icelandicblue]

Thank you so very much. I really appreciate your review.