The Daddy Daughter Dance Has Been Postponed

I don't know how to do this dance myself.
I am an adult orphan and I am unsure of the steps.
Through the passage of time our relationship changed
especially after mom was gone I always knew my place in the world;
I was the perpetual child and you were my forever dad.

I never crossed over into those gray regions where
I told you what to do or how to live;
that's what I had a sister for. That's what we had
statistics for.

We found our soft shoe melody 
in a magical place where you could
share parts of your life that helped me cope in my own.
And here we found a deeper understanding to each other which
only enriched our music and moments together.

You told me of your mother's soft brogue and her
voice like an angels. You shared the heartache of
an unforgiving and alcoholic father who made your lives
hell. And how you children could not wait to escape.

Your sister ran off and wed as soon as she could and
married a Protestant no less, a man we all sardonically
called The Minister. And you at 16 lied about your age and
entered a war to end all wars.

You cut chase across the Bay of Tokyo dropping depth charges
and dodging Kamikaze pilots at the battle of Okinawa.
And you stood proudly on your ship in Tokyo Bay while surrender papers were signed,
and you were only 17.

I wish I could have hugged that boy and told him how brave and proud I was of him.
He came home a man, a metamorphosis at sea, married the love of his life
and started a family. He never showed himself to be other than patient and kind,
and he took each blow life gave him with grace, faith and hope.

I am proud to have known you and to have called you dad-
I just don't know how I will ever dance that daddy daughter dance alone.
We choreographed it through the joy and the pain, but I believe that
you have taught me enough steps to get by until we dance again.

You are my beacon and my strength and I will forever love you.

Reviews

[Frieda P]

What a touching tribute blue, the steps are the same, we just have to learn a new tempo to get us through. Thank you for this wonderful glimpse of your dad's life. There are no spaces big enough to store all the pain, but the memories live on through you my sweet friend.

[icelandicblue]

Thanks Frieda,
The pain is so deep I don't know what to do with it. Thanks for reading and supporting me at this time.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i am sorry for your loss and the pain...this is beautiful tribute poem...

i really like the part about you wishing you could hug the boy...

this is not just moving, it is so well written...

intriguing and sad at the same time.

the wishes of things we would like to have done more...but you loved him and he, you.....that is what counts most.

[icelandicblue]

Thank you so much jacob for always being there with the perfect and kindest thing to say.Thank you.

[Sheila Kline]

The horrific pain of your dad's loss is at this moment suffocating you, pressing you down from feeling any joy, and light is hidden by the darkness as rivers of tears flow in the angst you feel by losing him before you were ready!!

It is so difficult when we are not expecting a loved one's death. Death slaps us in the face with the reality it has ruled, and we are left behind as its victim! What words provide comfort - perhaps there are none. He lives on in you! It sounds so cliche to say that I know how you feel. That does not help you, and no, I can't possibly know exactly how you feel, but I can say I am here for you to help in any way I am able.

Death is an an unwelcome friend to me, and I have many writings about it as there have been many losses in my life, including the loss of my 16 year old son. Writing is healing, so I encourage you to continue writing of him, of your dance, of your time with him, of how you feel robbed of the joy of him!

Your poem is heart wrenching! May you feel a bit of comfort this day in knowing there are many who care about you!! Peace be with you dear friend!!!! And glean a bit of happiness from the great legacy he leaves behind!!

Blessings,
Sheila

[icelandicblue]

Oh Sheila,

I will never be able to thank you for the cooling balm of your words.

You are an angel...

[Chris]

From the heart...

[icelandicblue]

Your heart is kind.

[Emily B]

this hits close to home for me.

[icelandicblue]

I am sorry for your pain Emily.

[Emily B]

it is okay, we've had a talk or two since he moved on, all is forgiven