The Disfigurement of Clara

She was the most elegant flower of all,
eyes would follow her in a hypnotic phalanx
just to capture a glimpse of her aura-
beauty as contagion.

Then the thunder and lightening of love
enveloped her perfection and made promises
of forever in a finite world. She believed
with upturned face and open heart

And when the rain poured down she
laughed with him in the freedom
of unconventional moments, alive,
caressed in a baptism of innocence.

Eventually the sun shone on them
and exposed him for what he was.
The light evaporated him back
into the black cloud from which
he came.

And those memories ate at her,
gnawing at her sweetness and trust.
The tiny corners of her mouth now
discretely turned down.

Her admirers were no longer attracted to her flame,
instead they turned their heads from her.
The napalm of love can be felt from afar,
especially by those already burned.

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

strong first two verses thinks i ... the language is great ... nice turn in verse three ... are you completely happy with verse four? just wondering ... strong ending ... Clara's perfection and love itself can almost be synonymous ... and love itself raped abused and damaged .... as i am reading this i cant help but think along the lines of mythology ... i got a lot from your poem... thanks for sharing it ... E.

[icelandicblue]

Thank you again for reading and commenting.

[carol burgess romance]

Such a sad peice with alot of truths....how one can be changed by tainted love...well done...good read

[icelandicblue]

Thank you sorry for the delayed response.

[Oceana]

Love this, so touching. "...eyes would follow her in a hypnotic phalanx" That's unreal! Great job, thank you for sharing :)

[icelandicblue]

Thanks sorry for the delay in responding.

[redflutterby]

When we have been hurt or used terribly it shows in our face and hearts. And yes this will drive others away. Very sad but honest poem. ;-)

[Angi]

Icelandicblue, this piece is really touching. I have a friend that I have known since high school. She was this girl. Prom queen, everyone in love with her. She was burned repeatedly, too much pressure on her, too. She doesn't glow anymore. You put it together beautifully.

[icelandicblue]

Life has no guarantees does it. I'm sorry.

[shythatway]

This went straight to the heart.. :( A disfigurement of the soul, yet so visible to all. Even if the trolls do burst in daylight, they leave scars behind..

I liked the flow in this. Beauty as contagion struck the same chords (with me) as the mirror phrase in your poem I read earlier. But at the same time, the word contagion has a negative feel to it. Like somthing you wouldn't really wish for? Just my thoughts.

[icelandicblue]

thanks skythatway. I appreciate it.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Hmm...I sense a lot of honesty and reality in this one. I rather liked it, actually. You describe the "girl" quite well; the innocence and openness turned to stand-offish pessimism. It is not "her" fault, these things happen. Nice flow to this one, and the imagery is good as well (mainly the descriptions of the girl).

Tiny little issue: In the 4th stanza, I would have written the last line as "into the black cloud from which he came." all in one line...you need no break it into two lines. Other than that...very nicely done, my friend!

[icelandicblue]

Thanks Sarah, I'll make that change, thanks.

[Sheila Kline]

When one is deceived it is always to one's benefit to have truth expose the deceiver for who they really are. You have expressed such words with wisdom and exceptional creativity! The last verse is KAPOW, BOOM, BOOM!!! (I just couldn't help myself...lol)
I really, really like it!!!

[icelandicblue]

Thanks for reading and I love your comment!

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

When a good person gets mixed up with someone bad it sometimes causes them to be seen in the same light.

[icelandicblue]

That is true...thanks so much for reading and commenting.