Breakfast of Losers

Perhaps it has always been the
starkness of being between us,
cocooned stasis
away and between the measured
beats that pound life out of
red licorice-kissed lips.

Fall we did into oatmeal puddled
existence, and there we languish
where the only shared thoughts
are of milk, butter
and sometimes guns.

How I long for another-

hot creamy cereal
to stir my disposition
up to something
more than tepid.

Reviews

[s y e]

I absolutely hate breakfast, I have never eaten it... Well I eat it when I am forced otherwise I just don't eat but then I get the 'Breakie is the most important part of your day' talk.... -.- I could tell you it off by heart but I wont bore you, mind you if you wanna make me pancakes I wont say no (even though I am allergic to them, hahah)

This was great! I loved it, really great job, Blue!

[icelandicblue]

Thanks, I am not a breakfast eater either. It takes me hours to get hungry.

[Angi]

I have had this breakfast more times than I like to admit. I happen to love my oatmeal dearly. I just jazz it up with some new spices! Love your work, Blue. Angi~

[icelandicblue]

Ha ha nice one Angi!

[Annabelle Lee]

I almost understand this...

[icelandicblue]

Well passion sometimes dies and then it's time to change breakfast cereals. Thanks Annabelle Lee.

[Sarah]

you have such a way with words, this has such grate figurative language that gives me the eurge to endulge in this piece.

[Distant horizons]

Now i'm hungry :-)
Such bittersweet images these words portray in my mind, of love left unattended and a heart thoughtfully pondering the what was, what is and what could be's
beautifully penned.

[icelandicblue]

LOL- I don't think you want to eat there! Thanks so much Lorry-always nice to see you.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

What a lovely way to put your idea...a relationship that has passed the stage of initial infatuation and moved on to something more bland, but perhaps more comfortable as well. We long for the reignition of that fire, but in doing so, we risk losing the comfort...it's a tough call. I do like the imagery here, and the idea was fabulous, something we can all relate to. Good flow, technically good wording and phrasing. Well done, my friend.

[icelandicblue]

That was precisely what I was going for. Thank you so much for such and in-depth review.

[Angel]

Dark and lonely...stark and longing...
Speaking to the haunted soul.
This piece is destined to become a classic.
Thank you for sharing.

[icelandicblue]

Thanks so much Angel.

[spayne94]

This is such powerful verse, very well done!

[icelandicblue]

Thanks so much. I appreciate that.

[Kristin Lee]

"to stir my disposition
up to something
more than tepid"

I like that line a lot. Very interesting word connections and yet they all meet in the middle some how. I wouldn't normaly connect oatmeal and guns :) Thanks for sharing.

[icelandicblue]

There are different way of "eating" them.

Thanks

[Kristin Lee]

No, I got that. That's why I like it :) I just meant to say it's not an every word day connection. I think of oatmeal and I think of soft things. But when I think of guns I think of rough, rugged things. Eating and mouths was not the first connections I made. There was obviously some great thought that went into this stirring piece. I look forward to reading more of your work. It provokes great thought. A quality I appreciate in writing.