The Last

I am the last surviving child

standing among the coal.

The ash and blood under my feet

have poisoned my sweet soul.

The emptiness of all that's lost

hovers over rubble of remains.

The ghosts of memories swirl around,

but they bring me only pain.

 

I am the last surviving child

just howling in the wind.

All I've ever loved is gone,

it's like I've never been.

 

Reviews

[lee von cleef]

Not to take this poem away from you, but I have found when a poem or a horse gets this good ,they take on a identity of their own, The trainer or Writer, has to sit back manage them ,put them in the right company so they can win a rose, So pick a spot ,this poem ,has blood ,coal black,running through its Soul.Find a bigger forum for it to shine in, it is ready for print.

[icelandicblue]

I am almost not sure how to respond. Thank you for your confidence in this poem. To be honest, I do think this is one of the most visceral poems I have written. Seriously, thank you so much! What a nice thing to say.

[Rachel Anderson]

This is wonderfully written. Very powerful.

[icelandicblue]

Thanks so much.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

you have this ability to write in an accessible yet sophisticated way, I think that this is a very skilled post, and a moving spoken word piece aswell, great work

[icelandicblue]

Hi Sheema Huq,
Nice to meet you and I thank you for such a kind comment. I really appreciate that you took the time to read this and respond. I look forward to reading your work as well.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

It is my absolute pleasure and please do call me Sheema, I'm ever so glad that I came accross you this evening and hope that we stay in touch, with best regards

[Creepy Swine Guy]

I read this poem as being narrated by the child of a West Virginia family (the coal) ... I see someone who comes from some small town that is dead or dying. Work in the poisonous mines has taken the entire family ... all but the narrator. Very visceral ... sad ... vivid.

[icelandicblue]

Hi,

That was the original thought- I used West Virginia as my setting. Thanks for reading.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

sorry I'll delete and move to my review section!

[icelandicblue]

Thanks so much CSG- I don't know how I missed this one.

[Muse]

You stand on desolate ground. To be the last soul standing on earth. Imagine it...it's hard too, but your words "it's like I've never been" sums it up best...without others, there would be no testimony of your existence. Beautiful work.

the only hiccup I saw..."but they only bring me only pain."
did you mean lonely?
Surely you didn't mean to use "only" twice?

[icelandicblue]

Thank you so much. I fixed the typo- that's what happens when I move words around, my eyes/brain filter out the mistakes and it looks fine to me. Sometimes, when things are hard, we feel like the last soul on earth or at least so isolated only we can feel the sharp-edged sword of our predicament. It's always important to reach out, a lesson I am learning the hard way. I think you so much for your comment.

[J]

your words are a powerful, heart-wrenching testament to one of the most wasteful, heedless disregards of human life in history; a voice "howling" in a vacuum of apathy. but you "are." and your voice most assuredly haunts their sleep as prosperity at such a price holds little countenance with Him.

[icelandicblue]

j-

Thank you for writing such a beautiful comment. I feel that you truly felt this poem and that makes it worth writing.