Venal Caveat

His skin like the peel of an onion,
a desiccated parchment traversed by blue collapsing rivers.
Crooked fused hands clutched at vacant air,
his form hunched from years of avoiding the needs of others.

His pompous self-image was now scraped bare and raw.
Those false gods of gold would not save him now,
their interest spent in this husk of a man.

He turned his head with a voiceless question in his eyes,
they pleaded, "Tell me, what was it that I did not understand?"

The fates took pity and stopped before cutting the next thread.
They looked down, not unkindly, and sighed,
When they spoke, it was in unison,
"Ah, you always took the fruit, but you never tended the garden."

Reviews

[s y e]

This is brilliant and moving Anne --- I love how it is filled with such emotion and imgerary that hooks the reader's mind and heart as well.

A perfect write as always from you.

[icelandicblue]

Thanks Noodle, it's a lesson we need to take to heart...to be givers not takers.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Wow such a lesson in this, a selfish life ends in a fearful, lonely death full of emptiness. Amazing!

[An owl on the moon]

Your account is so brilliant and moving.. filled with emotive imagery that grips the mind and heart. The last line is sheer perfection.

[icelandicblue]

Thank you so much.

[KAOlmsted]

Simply amazing. I have no other words, other than thank you so much for sharing this with us.

[icelandicblue]

Hey,

I wasn't sure about posting this one so I am happy that you liked it. Also thanks for the good wishes on the storm. So far so good but the wind is picking up- I'm just hoping we don't loose electricity. Some places in Connecticut are getting 5 inches of snow an hour!

[KAOlmsted]

I did like it, and yeah, I saw you were from Boston and I was like *gulp*...I see I am 15 hours after the fact here, and haven't really been watching the news...hope all is well. Jeez, I used to live in Hartford...so glad I'm not there anymore ;-)

Anyway...hope you weathered the storm alright.

[icelandicblue]

It was intense but we never lost power and it was over late this morning. Tons and tons of snow though! Next week it's going to rain so the mess should immense, right now it's quite pretty.

[David Scott]

Wisdom too late for this character... Maybe we will learn?
A fine poem mostly because of the fine lesson. The flow was a bit off but not so much that the read was unpleasant. I would like a constructed meter to follow for my eye. Sometimes that is just the way I am reading though.
Still, I'm happy to have read this wise tale.

[icelandicblue]

Hi,

Thanks, maybe the poem is more of a very short story rather than a poem.

[Jack...]

Very cool, your descriptions are spot on, these people do exists and are evident everywhere we go. Nice work.

[icelandicblue]

Thank you Jack.

[Dr. Wood ?]

you paint a very stark yet vivid picture in so few words...An art in itself..I have come across these selfish people many times...This world unfortunately is riddled with them

[Creepy Swine Guy]

Very nice. The last line was exceptionally powerful. I know these people and I get it. I get that they are baffled, unable to understand their offenses. It is very sad.

[icelandicblue]

Only at the end do some question their lives. Thanks for commenting.

[Annabelle Lee]

wow

[Naomi Bloom]

Have you ever tried your hand at prose (short stories, novels, etc)? You seem to be really good at painting portraits of people in your poems. I think that could transfer to actual stories maybe.

Nice reference to Greek mythology with the fates cutting the thread.

[icelandicblue]

Hi Naomi,

I am definitely working up to it. These little character sketches are my practice. I appreciate the confidence and the review.

[Naomi Bloom]

You're welcome. That's a fun way to practice.