The Aftertaste Of Mintjulep

Mint julep stories glorified
smelling salts, debutante
cotillions;

Spanish moss still sashays from
gnarled oaks. Aristocratic

ladies sit on verandahs
fanning and
gasping for air. Bolts

of Parisian silk,
unsullied from their
journey,
transform to gowns
that pinch at the
waistlines of
genteel ghosts. On

still summer nights
you can hear desperate
cheerful laughter, fireflies
on the air. Heed

the undertones, as you might catch
the cries of those who spun
cotton candy lives but were
never allowed to taste the
sweetness.

Reviews

[Creepy Swine Guy]

This is a very interesting poem. No, this is a very powerful poem. First, the ONE question I had ... S2 L1 ... at the end should that word be "for" or "from"?

Now onto the pleasure ... there was much. The first thing that I am compelled to tell you is that I saw something in this poem first as a flaw. I noticed that "Aristocratic" seemed misplaced. It was in the wrong stanza. I was about to make note of it for my review when I saw the same thing with "Bolts". The pattern continued. It occurred to me that this was intentional and so I wondered why. The words were stuck ... they were stuck in the past stanza ... stuck in the past. The words could not escape the past. THAT ... was brilliant good poet, brilliant. The images were pristine. This is one of the most towering poems I have encountered here in a VERY long time.

A definite favorite.

[icelandicblue]

Oh, thanks so much for your enthusiastic review. Yes, that was a typo in S2L1 thanks for catching that. I am so excited that you understood the placement of the words. Thank you so much for such an in-depth commentary.

[Creepy Swine Guy]

It was my distinct pleasure. I look forward to investigating more of your words. I would be digging in now but am struggling to keep from being face down on the keyboard.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Very dreamy and wistful took me to a different time. Nicely written.

[icelandicblue]

Thank you, sorry for the delay in responding...life does seem to get in the way at times!

[KAOlmsted]

Can laughter be both desperate and cheerful? I highly doubt it. Lose "cheerful"...we all know her laughter is fabricated (you told us; yet we would have figured it the f**k out) Say so or let us know with another word. You write so well...I beg you...do not spell things out for me...you insult my intelligence...do you really think you're smarter than me? I can probably figure out what you're saying before you even say it xD My point, of course, is stop telling me what your poems are about...let me read them and come to my own conclusion...or...tell me what you want me to think and stop writing poetry and just write a f*****g blog.

[KAOlmsted]

...which I won't read ;-)

[icelandicblue]

Well, I suppose now I know we're not just a big bunch of polite company. That's a good thing. You obviously felt quite strongly about the information provided at the top- didn't realize that it would spoil the poem; being new, which I guess is no excuse, I thought it was more for the search engine. I'll carefully craft whatever I put in there next time. Yes, I do think laughter can both both desperate and cheerful. The cheerfulness is implied as hollow because it is based on despair, akin to the idea of crocodile tears. It was not my intention to insult anyone's intelligence, but I am still finding my way around the site which is different than any other site I have been active on. I however, am here to learn from other poets who have something to offer. I also feel more free to give others constructive criticism- but I'll probably leave out all the swearing lol.

[KAOlmsted]

*laugh* sorry for the swearing...I get into dark places sometimes...I actually meant to say I really like your work. Every now and then evil kimmer rears her ugly head. I wish my laptop had a sensor in the keyboard that could send me an electric shock when I'm in a mood. Anyway. You rock. I really enjoy reading you. No need to block me *laugh*

[Naomi Bloom]

I see this was written quite recently. Was it inspired by Django: Unchained? I had to use the dictionary quite a bit for this and I enjoyed learning the new vocabulary.

This was a really evocative poem and the images you created were vivid. I also loved the subtle alliterations you used. Gorgeous writing!

[icelandicblue]

Hi,

Thanks so much. I had written this prior to the movie. When I wrote it it was more of a whisper in my mind that I put down on paper. Thanks again.

[Naomi Bloom]

You're welcome. I really liked it.

[Michael G.]

I felt the breeze coming off the water working its way through the live oak trees, filled with the music and genteel of the old South. This would fit well when spoken with a Southern accent of the Charleston area. Well written.

[icelandicblue]

That is what I was going for. I appreciate your response.

[Michael G.]

Living in the South, this was very recognizable. Even today, we still take pride in our ways and mannerisms.

[Pax]

very intriguing write... amusing imagery that dances in smooth flow. Great!

[icelandicblue]

Hi,
Thanks so much. I happy the words and images danced for you.

[Tasha]

Very distinct imagery. Love it :)

[icelandicblue]

Thanks a lot Tasha.

[Tasha]

You're very welcome.